shaking in disapproval,
your head does sway
“why dont you care?”
i hear you say
i glance down at
the failing grade
a rock forms in my throat
in mounting dismay
i could say the truth
that i DO care
but when things go down
in a vibrant flare
i feel my heart sink into
impenetrable despair
and putting myself in this state
i wouldn't dare
instead i shrug
and mutter “i dont know”
three words i adopted
so long ago
when my fear of failing
began to show
so i instead decided
to “go with the flow”
from your lips
i hear a sigh
and i know your next
question is why
its one i cant answer
no even with lie
because its true
that i DO try
but when i keep trying
to no avail
because all i do
is fail, fail, fail
im tired of trying
and what it entails:
leaving me drowning
and trying to flail
you have “the best intentions”
but thats not enough
when you stand up
and call my bluff
realizing i’m not bad
just full of guff
and theres a chance that im
not really that fucked up
i know you keep trying
to make me succeed
but its harder than
scolding me
i need time, i need help
that is truly judge free
that or you can just
let me be
let me enjoy how
can be nonchalant
when its really
what none of us want
cause a former me
will occasionally haunt
and make me make an effort
but only just once
sure i “have potential”
but that isn't all
i have a fear of failing
and its a major flaw
it makes me care too much
and eventually withdraw
from this world that makes stumbling
an deviation from the law
YOU ARE READING
In My Head
PoetryA collection of my poetry. there is no rhyme or reason between them, they are simply there because i wrote them and needed a place for them to go. i know, my grammar sucks. also, there will be updates whenever i write more poetry.
