In My Head

million pieces

I broke into a million pieces

And none of them will land

Flying, soaring ever higher

And God forbid this ends

The world below is desperate

To destroy a spark of light

So above this I will soar

Into the endless night

Hands reach from below

Some for help, some to harm

Tentatively, I reach down

And touch a grasping arm

They grasp on tight and don't let go

I rip away with fear

Who am I to try to rescue

When I can not even hear

If they are good, if they are bad

Truthful or full of lies

A person who truly needs rescuing

Or one to drag me to the flames

I'm too weak, naught but a wisp

So I close eyes and turn away

There is no way that I can

Save someone today

From above, I hear a sound

Fast approaching me

I slowly turn around to view

Eyes, blinking, slowly

I try to move from their field,

But their gaze follows me

I turn, run, try to escape

But they won't let me free

I curl up within myself

Cover ears, close my eyes

But still I see them watching

From deep within my mind

"Why did you not save them?"

It asks, a voice like mine

"You think you are a good person

So why are they left behind?"

I open my mouth to respond

But am silenced by the cries

"You claim to be a hero!

Your word is naught but lies!"

Every attempt I make

To refute their claims

Causes a myriad of insults

Because I'm the one to blame

I'm the one who left them

I'm the one who didn't care

I'm the one who lives the lie

And I shouldn't be here

I uncurl, unfold, slowly.

A fainter wisp is me

Lost almost all opacity

And gained invisibility

Again, I begin flying

Ever slower now

I just need to get away

Against each word I plough

The light I once emitted

Barely flickers in the night

I'm no longer soaring

I've now a fear of heights

I have nowhere to go now

Oh God, please let this end

Let me find my million pieces

And please, let me land