listen to me please
and the silent words i speak
as i sit on the couch among you
and blankly stare at the tv
ask me how i'm doing
and if i'm sleeping well
cause if you ask me and actually care
there is a chance i will tell
tell you that i haven't slept soundly for a week
that for some reason i cannot stay asleep
and i don't want no stupid pills
cause they just cause me to dream
you ignore my silent cries
and my tired, purple eyes
and i in turn dont say anything
as if, ignored, it will die
but now is when i need guidance
now is when i need to stop this dance
where are you to help me when i need you most
has my slight coldness towards you both ruined this chance?
im helpless right now
a tired, shaking, empty shell
everyone else who knows me knows this
so why are you so blind to this hell?
you care about the stupid things
but dont notice what matters to me
and stress is not dissipating, its increasing
but you dont see a thing.
maybe im just overreacting
and this deprivations getting to me
maybe if i sleep tonight ill be fine
at least thats what i believe
but if tonight i turn and toss
bed rejecting me, sleep all lost
and tomorrow im worse than today
maybe i am as bad as i thought
if only i could ask you and know
that you would not freak out and blow
but calmly tell me what to do
but you wont, you wont. i know you.
you're just as spastic as i
you can formulate a complex lie
i may act more like dad, but in my head
im the same as you, am i right?
bipolar, spastic, impatient, rude
kind, caring, funny, shrewd
we have the same characteristics
and it terrifies me that i may be like you
especially when i go to say “i cant believe”
and know that it may as well be me
its painful and strange that i feel and know
that under the surface thers no difference to see
.
.
.
where am i going
where did i start
this poem is a destoyed
work of art
fuled by caffine
and lack of sleep
has opened another little
mind peek
if only i could let you see
and then you would understand
but instead i tell everyone else
and let you guess my plan
YOU ARE READING
In My Head
PoesiaA collection of my poetry. there is no rhyme or reason between them, they are simply there because i wrote them and needed a place for them to go. i know, my grammar sucks. also, there will be updates whenever i write more poetry.
