Where The Spirit Meets The Bone

Twenty-nine: Alina Starkov

Twenty-nine:

Alina Starkov

The first thing she was aware of was that her thighs hurt. The second was that Aleksander's seed had dripped down her legs at some point during the night, and she could feel him on her. The second thing she was aware of was that her husband had his arms wrapped around her tightly, so tightly she didn't think she'd be able to get him to let go. "No," he murmured in his sleep fitfully, "no more.... don't make them go.... don't make them...."

His hair had fallen across his forehead as he jerked in his sleep. She reached out to brush it out of his face, and as she did, he grabbed his wrist tightly and sat up panting deeply. "Who are you?" he demanded. He pulled Alina close to him, so close she could feel his hot breath on her, and his chest. But there was nothing romantic about this grip. This grip was bruising, tight, and came from a place of confused terror. Nothing like the embraces they had indulged in the night before.

"Aleksander, its me," she said, "it's me! It's Alina! Your wife."

He furrowed his brows together as he stared at her, and he took her in. "Alina," he breathed, "my Alina. I'm sorry.... I'm sorry my Little Wife..."

He pressed his forehead against hers, and he kissed her. "I'm sorry," he apologized, and she thought for a moment that there was a single tear on his cheek.

"What...what was that?" she asked.

She didn't want to pry, but she didn't want to go to bed not knowing why her husband was having some kind of attack she couldn't understand.

He pulled away from her and put his head in his hands. There were times he looked so young; she couldn't even figure out what age he was. But there, in this moment, she could see the time on him. The wars waged. The trauma.

"Memories," he said, "a bad dream..."

"About the war?" she asked.

He heaved a sigh. "Yes. I.... I signed up when I was eighteen. I was young, and foolish, and wasn't going to inherit anything after all of my brothers came of age. I had to do something to make a name for myself. I...I thought that it was going to be all medals and glory. But Alina.... the things that I've done, and the things that I've seen...."

She placed a hand on his back, rubbing slow circles on it. "You were doing it for your country."

"That's what I keep on telling myself," he said, "our country forced people into military service against their will, we treated them like second class citizens, and we destroyed an ancient part of Ravka, letting their magic die out..."

She raised an eyebrow. "Surely you don't mean the second army? The grisha? I thought they were a myth."

"That's what everyone thinks," he said, "but they were real, except their powers disappeared because everyone's reliance on technology. Their powers fell into disuse and eventually, they became just has human as you and I, and the second army disbanded.... but we were never so powerful as when we had them. I wish I could bring the magic back....to keep our country safe and put an end to this mess."

"How would that even happen?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said, "it would help if we could track down second army descendants, and test them for being grisha. But that test used to involve putting people through intense pain in order to provoke the magic."

"Surely there's another way that we could do it," said Alina, "maybe some kind of sensor...."

He stared at her. "That's an excellent idea. Magic used to react badly to technology, buy it has been around long enough it might have a different reaction."

"Do you...do you think that you can change things, if you brought magic back? Maybe put an end to war?"

"An end to war, the next phase of enlightenment," he said, "there were sun summoners that could call light at will, those that could manipulate wind, manipulate solid objects.... imagine the electricity and medicine advances we could make if we could bring them back. We could repair what the war has broken in Ravka. We could begin to heal our countries wounds, restore our culture, inspire a whole new interest in the small sciences."

He locked eyes with her. "Will you help me, Alina?" he said. "Bringing the grisha back, that could be our legacy. If I were to restore them, we could make Ravka what it deserves to be. A force to be reckoned with."

Alina wrapped her arms around his naked chest, resting her head on his back. "If it will help you sleep at night, I will do anything for you, my darling husband." She kissed his back, not once, but twice. "My darling Aleksander...."

He smiled. "You are a marvel, Alina. And I have every faith we can turn Ravka into what it deserves and needs to be."

"I do to," she said, "but in the midst of your legacy building, is there time for breakfast."

He turned around and kissed her. "There's always time for breakfast," he whispered, "come on. Let's get dressed, and go eat."

"Oh. I just realized. I don't....I don't have clothes here."

"We both have walk-in closets," he told her, "and when you got your clothes made by the designer, I ordered duplicates of everything as well as some others and had them brought here."

She smiled. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Of course, my Little Wife. I would do anything for you."

They dressed and readied themselves, and when they were done, they went downstairs to eat a lovely breakfast that had been made for them. They spent the day wrapped up together, and Alina tried to brush away the feeling of fear that had taken over her this morning when she had thought he hadn't known who she was.

He was Aleksander, she was Alina, and they had their whole lives to get to know one another.