Where The Spirit Meets The Bone

Forty-six: Alina Starkov, past

Forty-six: Alina Starkov, past

The Fold was always there. Constant. Beating. Like a heart. In Keramzin, she was no longer Santka Alina. No longer The Sun Summoner. When they bought the orphanage from the Duke, they had agreed with him the following story: she was a distant cousin that he was handing over the care of the orphanage to. She was Alina Keramsov. No one knew she was the all-powerful young woman that had fought and died with and against The Darkling.

When Nikolai's carriage arrived, she wasn't surprised. She had been expecting a visit from The Fox Prince for some time. The only thing that Alina hadn't expected was why. Zoya was with him, and the four of them were sitting at the dining room table.

"You want to fix his broken heart?" Mal said, looking at him incredulously.

"No, The Fold is his heart," said Nikolai, "and we think that the only thing that can fix it is by---"

"Merging his essence with Alina's?" Mal said with a scowl. "Lantsov, give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch you?"

"Because I'm King," Nikolai reminded him.

"I said a good reason," said Mal, "do you remember what he did to her?"

"Do you remember what you did?" Nikolai retorted.

"Will you two please kindly shut up?" Alina shouted. "I remember what you all did to me. Mal, you were frightened of my power and pushed me away. The Darkling used me for my power, and so did you Nikolai. Now, this is my power that I will be giving away. The remains of my power. But you are all forgetting the most important thing."

"It's not about you," said Zoya.

Alina glanced at her. "It's not about you either."

Zoya bristled but gave something resembling a smile. "Sorry. I thought that I would offer you some solidarity."

"Thank you," Alina said with a nod, "now, this is my choice and no one else's. You said you had a letter for me, from Baghra?"

Nikolai took the letter from his jacket pocket and handed it to her. "Now if you need----"

"I need peace and quiet," said Alina, "I'm going to the meadow to go read this. Now, if anyone interrupts me, I will light you on fire."

"Alina, you don't have any of your powers," said Mal softly.

"No, but I do know where the matches are," Alina reminded him. She took the letter from Nikolai and got up to go out the back of the kitchen door. Mal went to follow her, but she shot her husband a look.

"Mal," she said darkly.

He heaved a sigh. "Fine. Right. I'll stay. But do you really want me to be around the King that long? I know he let you get away with punching him, but I don't know if he'll make the same allowances for me. You're much prettier."

Alina smiled. "You have your charms. Go play nice with the King, and I'll be back when I'm done reading."

"Alina," he said, "are you..."

"Go," she told him, "please."

He scowled, and slipped back inside the orphanage. When he was gone, Alina took the letter out from Baghra. It was three pieces of parchment, and Alina expected it to be long and heartfelt. Instead, there was a simple message scrawled to her that made Alina smile.

The Fox Prince thinks that my son can be saved. Kill him if he can't. You were not made to save anyone but yourself. Anyone else that gets your help is only if you want to give it and they deserve it. Your heart and mind belong to yourself, first and foremost. No matter who they happen to have feelings for. Feelings can fade. Your soul and mind you are stuck with. -Baghra

Alina took the letter, and folded it up, slipping it into the pocket of her skirt. The door creaked opened and she thought she would see Mal coming out again but was surprised to see Zoya coming out instead with a cup of tea in her hand.

"I thought you could use something to drink," Zoya said.

"Tea?" Alina said.

Zoya laughed. "Kvas," she said, "I thought that you could use something stronger."

"Thank you," she said. Alina took it from her, tilting her head to the side. "This isn't the part where you knock me unconscious to steal my magical essence to duplicate and shove through a magical tree is it?"

Zoya shook her head. "No. I would never take away someone's choice. But if anyone understands what it is like to be under The Darkling's power, it is me. We were all young, foolish, and lonely, and that was how Aleksander got what he wanted. From all of us. He made us all believe we were the most important person in the room when really the most important person in the room was whoever could give him what he wanted or needed. But Alina....Ravka's existed with The Fold for centuries. Ravka will endure. Maybe not the way we want it to, but it will."

Alina tilted her head to the side. "You want to know what Baghra's letter says don't you?"

Zoya smirked. "Desperately. We're all deadly curious and even Nikolai doesn't know."

She heaved a sigh, and she handed the letter over to her.

Zoya read it silently and handed it back to her. "Well? What are you thinking?"

"The way it was explained, Mal and I will still be here. We'll still have our happily ever after?"

"If you consider a life without power taking care of brats happily ever after," said Zoya.

"I consider a life with the man I love who has been my home since we were children, without a gun in my hand, not being used for my power, but being loved for myself.... that I consider happily ever after. Although Mal does snore, I've discovered."

Zoya snickered. "Does he really?"

She nodded.

"Have you told him?"

She shook her head. "No. I just put cotton in my ears."

"Clever," Zoya said with a smile.

"I am the all-powerful Santka Alina," she said with a smile.

Alina took a sip of the kvas Zoya had given her.

Zoya laughed.

"I'm going to do it," she said, "but I want it known I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for him. I'm doing it for myself. I can feel The Fold. The pain, the anger, all of it...and then there's the ticking that won't go away...."

"Ticking?" said Zoya.

"It started a few days ago," said Alina, "it comes and goes. It's like The Fold is waiting for something....waiting for me."