Do you? || Book 1

~13~

Dreams are mystifying, it's one of the things a human being, like myself, cannot control... Except for if you use black magic and I don't want to die early, so yeah, I have no intentions of controlling my dreams or anything. Usually, every time I slept, it was just... black, and it's really rare that I get to dream, and I'm completely fine with that because I don't like seeing me and my best friends riding a shark into the Bermuda triangle with a screaming egg behind us... Talk about weird dreams.

But this time, it was different,  I saw my mother, a woman who I had not seen for 4 whole years, not because I didn't want to but because she was dead.  And it was my fault, whether the whole world disagreed, I knew for a fact that I could've easily let her get out before me but I didn't. The faded burn marks on my waist are left as a reminder of my selfishness, but now add scratch marks and hickeys to the list. I flinched and cursed at myself for thinking about the incident. 

I just want to forget about it, I had made up my mind as I laid on the hospital bed to just forget about this... event as if it never happened, it would be better for me and everyone else. But my friend's thoughts differ, I can't blame them for getting defensive, oh and that reminds me, note to self, tell Seungmin to not launch his rage on the fucking asshole, otherwise, a great turmoil would rise and people would find out the truth, not like they didn't know already. The whispers and dirty looks proved it all. My friends were and still are the family I chose for myself since the people connected to me by blood don't know I exist and even if they did, they didn't want to do anything with me.

I knew my mother but not my father, he left a long time ago. If I recall correctly then I was about 7 or 8, my father ordered me to scram to my room and not come out until he told me to. I was horribly terrified and I did as he commanded, loud shouting and arguing echoed throughout the house, and little me had no idea what they were arguing about until I was 13 and that was the last I saw of my so-called father. It was when I grew up, I asked my beloved mother why father left us, she then explained her story. My mother and father fell in love, even though he was married to a man, he had cheated on his husband for my mother and impregnated her. 

The worst part was that he never told her that he was married and when she found out, it was not good news. Frequent arguments took place and then they just parted ways. I still have no clue where or how my father is, not like I give 2 shits anyway. All I know is that he was a cheating bastard, he left my mother hurt and he left his son, me. That's why I never knew any other relative from my dad's side and even if I met someone from my mother's side, I don't remember anyone. My family was quite messed up and-

"Jisung! Snap out of it!"

"Oh uh, what?"

"I asked if you wanted to play UNO with us?"

"Y-yeah sure"

SMACK! "YAH JEONGIN! IM OLDER THAN YOU! TREAT ME WITH RESPECT"

"PFFT, you may be older in age but you're smaller in mentality and height"

"I can easily oppose considering you're a little"

"Not now I'm not, right now I'm 16-year old Jeongin and I'm sure Seungmin Hyung would agree to me being smarter than your short ass"

"Hey!-" Felix was cut off by Seungmin who snarled "Our ramen is getting soggy"

"Oh, shit-" replied Felix as he and Jeongin ran to the kitchen bickering about who's faster.

"Jisung you keep on zoning out," -He put his arm around my shoulder in a protective manner only for me to badly flinch. Oh shit. He instantly retracted his arm- "Sungie?"