Thoughts, Emotions, Change

I've Noticed

I've noticed it's usually me who compromises with others and their wishes

A small smile with bated breath, I accept their conditions

With little to no thanks and no drop of the hat

They are pleased with the performance of their dramatic act

Why is that?

I've noticed it's usually me who lets others have more than their fair share of chances

Trust is easily broken, but for those you love

You'd give it all for them

So time after time again I brush aside the feelings of betrayal and ask them not to do it again

Why ask though when I know they'll do it again?

I've noticed it's usually me who gets the short end of the stick

Randomized draws I try to avoid, knowing that it's an empty void

False promises of hope to be greeted with disappointment

I congratulate the winner and thank the host for the event

Even if I never wanted to participate in it to begin with

Why complain if they're enjoying the wins?

I've noticed it's usually me who faces the most backlash

Trying my best in a day to day life that appears simple on the cover

But when you open the book, the pages fall out

They're torn, the words have faded, yet you still expect it to read well since it's brand new

Why tell them you're okay when you know they can see through you?

I've noticed it's usually me

In every little thing I do

That ends in misery or unhappiness

Jealousy is not a horse I ride often, nor is Bitterness something I keep in the stables

But others race around in circles atop their criticism

Less than a noble steed they steer and yet more confident in what their future will yield

I've noticed it's usually me their pride sours, tongue burning even if no words leave my lips

I crave for the satisfaction of watching them get flipped

Tossed off and left in the mud, awaiting for their need of my help

Not would it be required but instead a gift, and gratitude needed repaid

Instead they stay on, expertly navigating the rocky terrain around my footing that crumbles from the heavy hooves that beat along

I've noticed it's usually me that watches people prance around

Waiting for my turn and chance

Even so there's no point in dismounting them

They'd not be able to hear over the rushing high wind

I've noticed it's usually me that notices things before others catch a glimpse

A small insight to the things they may have missed

While they are riding the waves of life

I am left on the side

Whether it be a compromise; a second, second, second chance; some faded books; stick draws or rigged rodeos

Without fail I am always the one

The one that does what?

Even for that I'm unsure

I've noticed it's usually me that lacks the words

Stumbling on my feet to explain to the world

That I can't continue to race for their approval

And keep noticing things before they do