Thoughts, Emotions, Change

Butterfly Kisses & Shattered Glass

I've always been afraid of the ocean

Deep rippling waves with tides that faulted

Shores collecting seashells that wait to be called back

Every time I stepped out onto the pier I thought I might topple in

A slip on the foot and down I went

With breath hitching in my throat

And air escaping in bubbled pockets back towards the surface

I stayed away from the lure it gave

After the poison had drained

Washed away from the years of rain

It was long before I found myself thinking

Wondering if the flower would bloom again

If it would be vacant of the poison which gifted by said ocean

And for a moment it all seemed hopeless

What a mind needed I granted

Time to heal and fix what was damaged

The broken pieces were fit back into their puzzle, a form I struggled to figure out

The open wounds I brushed aside I cleaned, taking care to stitch up the seams

Any resentment held I let go, releasing the clutch their siren songs sang to hypnotize me

With a clean mindset I was ready

Hesitant but prepare to step back out again

Back onto that pier, of which hung over that great deep ocean

And for a moment I was scared

I knew I was scared

Frightened of what could happen I stayed behind

Watching the tide move to and fro

The froth of the sea taunting my eyes wherever it would go

Yet out of the corner of my eye there you were

A courageous soul

A courageous soul peering out through the broken, ever shifting hazel eyes you wore

You stood tall, unfazed by the dangers that opposed the very nature of what was you

Browns turned to green, hazel twisting and fading into emeralds and flecked forest greens

A story of which I'd never read but knew by heart

A different leaf yet from the same kind of branch, our rhythms found sharing the same beat

Hand in hand we jumped in together

Caution is a part of every tale

After the poisoning of a flower, beaten and bruised from nature's cruel will

I took great care in protecting what decided to be there

Least I wanted to be torn from my nest and put in an early grave yet again

To forge a bond is something that takes time

To learn of the cuts of a mind requires patience

All of which was present

Was present

What I find now is something never there before

What was once hesitant is now willing

My heart falling into the soothing waves that lap around me

Hand tight in yours I embrace the unknown

Nearly drowning in the butterfly kisses you sneak between breaths

A soft giggle as we resurface for air, only to be depleted in mere seconds

Legs kicking in a motion I had never been able to figure out in the past

Taught from the kind love you bear, ready to gift to me

My heart accepting what might and could be

A blossoming flower is born, the stem from which it grows still damaged but ready to try again

At risk of sounding hopeful I carefully dose the bud with poison

Eyes watchful at your reaction

Among the reckless sea you pause to shelter it

Delicate fingertips brushing the dew drops away like wiping tears from a face

Your smile shines bright through the murky water

A ray of sunlight that coaxes the bud to bloom

Worried at what will become I lurch to stop you

But the broken windows cut my hands and feet

The memories of what happened prevent my actions

And what I saw back then threatens to reflect in your gaze

However the glass falls away to reveal colors I've yet seen before

Bright oranges and hot reds among a peaceful sunset

Wild splashes of lavender purples and pastel pinks

And soft sky blues tinged with the dip of a gentle sea green

At once it's overwhelming

But now I'm finding myself relaxing into it

Comforted by the soul accompanying my own, I ignore the depth of the sea

It's taunts no longer bother me

The pier ceasing the threats to trip my small feet

What was once an ocean of deep and rippling, inky black waves are now crystal clear

And the seashells that waited on that dark desolate shore are now back where they once called home

I've always been afraid of the ocean

But the beauty of it outweighs the risk and I cannot bring myself to miss out on it.