ꜰᴏʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ (ᴛᴏᴅᴏᴅᴇᴋᴜ)

puɐʇsɹǝpu∩ I ɥsıɟlǝS ɯ'I

Brown guilty eyes and
Little white lies, yeah
I played dumb but I always knew
That you talked to her
Maybe did even worse
I kept quiet so I could keep you
And ain't it funny how you ran to her
The second that we called it quits?
And ain't it funny how you said you were friends?
Now it sure as hell don't look like it
You betrayed me
And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You talked to her when we were together
Loved you at your worst but that didn't matter
It took you two weeks to go off and date her
Guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor
➪♧︎
♫ꨄOlivia Rodrigo ~ traitor

꧁ꨄ❦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❦ꨄ꧂

Recap:

    Trying not to lose my ever-loving mind or worse...jump Todoroki, I pull back and move back to my original position on the makeshift floor-bed. My face is indeed burning and must be redder even if it is humanly possible. I want to just strangle Uraraka when I hear her barely holding back her snickers beside me.

    Instead, I stupidly follow her instructions and lean in close to her and whisper, but do it loud enough so Todoroki can hear, "Care for some popcorn hun?"

    Uraraka thanks me and turns over on her back, opening her mouth as if she is asking me to feed her a piece. My heart aches because I just know this is making Todoroki upset, I can feel him squirming beside me, and I just wish all this stupidity was over so I can do this stuff with him. I know I'm new to all this, but I just get these oddly natural urges to do things with Todoroki, and no that doesn't mean sexual things. Cute things, sweet things, romantic things. Anything! I just want to hold and be held by him, but no! There has to be all these stupid complications and it's ridiculous.

Recap Over:

꧁ꨄ❦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❦ꨄ꧂

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️
This chapter includes mention of self harm, abuse, drugs, and mentions of suicide. If you are harming yourself in any way, getting abused, or have thoughts of suicide or overdosing, please seek help or talk to someone and remember that you are not alone even if it may feel impossible

꧁ꨄ❦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❦ꨄ꧂

I can feel myself begin to pout and really zone out. Uraraka tries to make me smile and snap out of it, but soon realizes that it was pointless and just links her hand with mine and leaves me to work it out on my own. All these sad thoughts suddenly rush into my mind and begin attacking full force and I need time to sort them.

What if Todoroki doesn't care for me? What if he truly loves TetsuTetsu and I have to deal with them getting back together? What if he doesn't even care enough to come to my mom's funeral with me? What if...what if I go back to how I was and try to kill myself again?

Panic rises in my chest and I feel my heart pounding and my breathing becomes quick and unnatural.

"Midoriya? Are you okay?" I hear Todoroki and Uraraka ask in unison.

I sit up and feel like I can't even breathe, it's like the room is too small and it's far too hot. I don't know what to do about anything. I can't figure any of it out. I can't handle it. I can't. I can't. My clothes suddenly feel like they are trying to choke me and I begin tearing at the collar of my shirt, gasping for air as I clench my eyes shut.