Leanna Clavelle | COMPLETED

Phase Thirty

"Bring me to our child."

Hindi ako makagalaw. Hindi ko magawang ibuka ang bibig ko para mag salita. The agony is growing in his eyes despite the confusion yet seething anger I see. I could feel my heart clenching painfully inside my ribcage.

The deafening silence between us is making my insides twist more. It's like the stillness is meant for us to mourn for our pains.

"I said fucking bring me to our child, Clavelle!" he said in a controlled voice.

"G-Gael..."

I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Don't you dare lie to me, I know it's mine." He warned.

Hindi naman ako magsisinungaling. I just don't know how to say it without him hurting, but that's impossible.

"Hindi naman sa ganon."

Hindi siya nag salita. His jaw clenched and his hand was bald. I could see the longing in his eyes. He then looked away, like it could brush away the lost years.

Hindi ko talaga masabi sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kong paano. Kung saan magsisimula. Hindi ko kaya kasi alam kong sobrang sakit iyon para sa kanya. I've been there and it was never easy. Hindi madali tanggapin na wala na siya buhay ko. Na kahit kalian hindi ko na siya mayayakap. Mahahawakan. Mapaparamdam ang pagmamahal. Hindi iyon naging madali kaya kung maari ayaw kung maranasan iyon Gael pero alam kong malabo. Dahil kahit anong gawin ko, masasaktan at masasaktan siya sa katotohanan. I know this is inevitable but I'm not prepared for this and will probably not be ready this soon.

I heaved a deep breath and was about to speak but he stood. Tiningala ko siya. Umiigting ang kanyang panga at na ako matignan sa mata. The tension in our air is hard to bear. It's suffocating me.

"Let's go." He said coldly and left me alone.

My heart clenched.

Tuluyan nang pumatak ang isang luha ko na pinipigilan habang sinundan ko siya ng tingin. I immediately wipe it away. This will be hard for us. That's for sure.

I stared at his back. Lumalayo siya habang humahakbang. Lumalayo hanggang sa ang hirap ng abutin. He seems tough outside but I know he's breaking. And what more if he knew the truth? For sure, it will ruin him beyond repair.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago nag pasyang tumayo. May klase pa ako pero wala na akong pakialam. Inayos ko ang sarili at sinukbit ang bag bago sumunod sa kanya. He still deserves the truth. Even if it will hurt him, he still has to know.

Nararamdaman ko na naman ang pamumuo ng panibagong luha sa aking mga mata. Kailan ba ito mauubos? Tinatatagan ko ang sarili at pinipigilan umiyak. This isn't the time to be weak. I have to be strong at least... for Gael. For our baby.

Sinundan ko siya hanggang sa makarating sa parking lot. Sa bagal kong mag lakad ay nauna na siyang pumasok. Nang siguro matanaw ako'y bumukas ang pinto sa passenger seat.

Hindi ko na mabilang kung pang ilang buntong hininga ko na ito. I gulped and silently went in.

I stared at him for God knows how long. Kung hindi pa siya nag salita ay baka matutulala nalang ako sa kanya magdamag.

"Seatbelt." He said coldly.

I blinked my eyes twice and opened my mouth slightly, wanting to say something but failed. Instead, I chose to put my seatbelt on. I looked at the window. I couldn't get myself to sit comfortably. Not now that there's melancholia that waits for us.