Leanna Clavelle | COMPLETED

Phase Eight

"Oh... san ka galing Clavelle?" bungad ni Mayette sa sakin nang maka balik ako ng aming booth.

Bagsak ang balikat. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang pagod para sa mga nag daang araw. I feel so drained.

"D'yan lang sa canteen, Mayette." I lied.

Tumigil siya sa pag aayos ng mga chichirya sa lamesa at ibinigay ang buong atensyon sa akin.

"Bakit? Ayaw mo sa mga tinda dito?" taka niyang tanong.

Napa ayos ako ng upo sa kanyang tabi. Tsaka ko lang napag tanto kung gaano ko mali ang aking sinabi. How can I forget that our booth is tienda-tienda? We are selling foods and beverages and what a wrong move to say that as a lie. Gusto kong mapasapo sa aking noo pero pinigilan ko ang aking sarili dahil baka mas lalong mag taka si Mayette.

"H-hindi naman! May binili lang ako na hindi available dito."

Tinitigan niya ako ng ilan pang segundo na para bang tinitimbang ako.

"Oh, okay..." she then shrugged and continued arranging some chichiryas.

Sa mga nag daan na araw sa pag pagbabantay ko ng booth ay medyo nakilala kong mabuti si Mayette, siya lang naman ang kumakausap sa akin. I saw her little efforts trying to start a conversation and befriending me. And because of that, I am slowly opening the pages of my book to her as I am trying to welcome her into my life.

My issues in life will be the death of me and maybe it won't hurt if I give Mayette a try, right?

She is a scholar at our school, which is why she is putting forth all of her efforts, particularly in academics. I remembered one time, she told me that I'm so lucky that I came from a rich family. I'm fortunate because we are not financially problematic and I can get whatever I want.

"Masaya ba'ng maging mayaman Clavelle?" she innocently asked.

I want to tell her at that moment that money isn't really the source of happiness. Maybe for some, it is. But for me, it isn't. People can be filled with euphoria even without riches. Family can also be a source of someone's elation, and when the right time comes, you'll find your other half... though, there is sorrow that can be felt, but still, endless happiness will follow.

I want to tell her that money can't make me happy, but I choose not to coz I don't want to ruin her bubbles.

Hindi niya alam na para sa akin ay siya ang mas maswerte aming dalawa kasi kahit hindi sila ganoon ka yaman buhay ay masaya pa rin sila at nakikita ko iyon araw-araw sa tuwing sabay kaming umu-uwi. Her parents kept checking on her whereabouts, asking her if she had eaten at the right time. Sometimes, I'll just find myself absentmindedly smiling at her, for being so talkative while talking to her parents. Na para bang mag barkada lang sila ng kanyang magulang.

Nang mag alas kwatro ay pinili kong maunang umuwi. There will be a program until 8:00 pm wherein the announcement of all the winners in each game will happen. Then there will be a short after party dedicated to the overall champion for this year from the college dept. and SHS dept.

Also, our adviser told us that it's our time to socialize with other students but I choose to stay inside the four walls of my0 room at the Apartment.

Hindi naman ako marunong makisama sa iba kaya okay lang na hindi ako pumunta at isa pa hindi ko rin feel na makisali. Mabigat ang loob ko at alam ko kung bakit. Sa mga lumipas na araw na nakasama ko si Gael, hindi ko maipagkakailang unti unting natitibag ang pader na pilit kong tinatayo.

Sa bawat tagpo ng aming mga mata ay nagkakaroon ng biyak ang barikada. I didn't bother to fix it because I am the one who's responsible for breaking it. Every damn time we're at the coffee shop, my heart would hammer inside my ribcage. When there's a chance our eyes will meet, butterflies in my stomach always crumple... even though my heart would hurt from its beating, I couldn't stop myself from feeling euphoric.