Leanna Clavelle | COMPLETED

A LETTER FOR MAYETTE

My dearest Mary Yvette,


I don't know where to start really. There are lots of things I wanted to tell you. plans I hoped to share with you. However, there's no point in telling you how I pictured us together in the future because I have already ruined it. I broke your heart and I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry that I caused you pain and I understand if you hate me now. But I don't regret opting to break us apart because I know it'll be better for you.

I love you with all my heart, Mary Yvette. I have never felt these kinds of emotions toward a girl. I never thought I was capable of loving someone romantically until you came. You became the moonlight of my dark night. You are the sun that keeps me going every day. It was your smile that captured my heart. Your beaming personality drugged my veins. Your cuteness lures my system.

I wanted to shout to the world that you're the girl I love the most, but you stopped me because you were afraid of what Clavelle might think of you. I'd wanted to tell you that my sister would be so happy and there's nothing to worry about, but I respected your decision and I was willing to wait until you're ready. When you came into my life, I felt free, even for a while.

When Clavelle left, you were the one I held on to to be stronger. You are my everything, Mayette. You made me feel so euphoric and loved that sometimes I questioned myself if I deserved you. Because I know, deep within myself, I can't give you the man you deserve.

You're better off without me, my love, because I can't let you drag yourself down with me. I can't let myself share my wretchedness with you and be a burden to you. I can't let you trap yourself into a broke man like me. I don't want you to put up with me because I'll only cause you pain.

After breaking up with you, I had to avoid you. Why? Because I'm afraid I'd crawl back to you, eat all the words I said, and beg you to take me back to your life. But I can't just do that. I had to be a better man first for me to deserve your love. Your kindness. Your everything to give.

I could only wish you'd found a man who would give you the world and all that I couldn't give. I wish and hope you will be happy genuinely, even if it's not with me. I want you to be in better hands. That's why I let you go.

I'm fine if you're angry with me. I understand that you hate me. I know this will all pass. Your feelings towards me will all pass and you'll forget about me. That's better than you staying with me while giving you a wreck of me. And really, I wish you would forget about me and stop loving me because I can't bear to see you hurt. If only I could make it mine, I will.

But please know Mayette, even if you forget about me. Lost your love for me. You'll always stay in mine, in my heart, forever. I'll never forget about you and stop loving you because it will always be you. I hope you can forgive me, my love for this is the only way I know how to love. I will always love you, and only you, until the end of my life.



Truly yours, Declan

:))