let me love you ~ michael jackson & ariana grande

vma's

September 8th, 1994

Ariana

I sit in the car, fiddling with my fingers nervously. Michael and I are on our way to the Radio City Music Hall, I was already tense prior to being in the vehicle but now my nerves are getting the best of me. 

Michael's hand rests on my thigh and I face away from him, I really didn't want to ruin this for Michael. I already told myself I would pretend I was okay with this when in reality, it's the last thing I want to do. People already seem to view mine and Michael's marriage as something they can just theorize about. I haven't been in the public eye for a long enough time so I think that's why I'm having so much problems coming back into it.

The car halts and the pit in my stomach only grows. Bill opens my door. "I can tell you're anxious, take a couple deep breaths and you'll be alright."

I mumble a quick thank you as Michael takes me in his grasp saying bye to Bill and kissing me quickly. I stick a fake smile on my face while we enter the building.

We're directed to backstage where we wait for half an hour, our wait consists of Michael telling me what will happen and him reassuring me. The plan was to go on stage, have Michael introduce himself, open the show and then leave. I'm really just going to be Michael's arm candy. I could do that.

Time flies by rather speedily, Michael and I wait behind the curtains, hand in hand.

He leans down to my ear. "Just relax, my love."

Award shows were the one time Michael became aware of his fortune and power, these were the times where Michael could become so arrogant, it's insane. And it's pretty hard to get him out of these states of cockiness.

I nod, sucking in one last big breath until the loud voice erupting through the speakers states. "Please welcome Mr and Mrs. Michael Jackson."

The curtains open and a spotlight is flashed on us as the both of us walk towards the front of the stage, I'm gripping onto Michael's hand so tight I think it may turn black and blue.

Discomfort is the only thing I'm feeling right now. Cheering and clapping is loud all around Michael and myself.

The fake smile on my face is hopefully convincing enough. It doesn't help that that I feel like an absolute whale in front of every single person in the room tonight. This isn't what I need right now.

"Hello?" Michael speaks into the microphone, the commotion not calming down one bit. "Welcome to the MTV Video Music Awards." An uproar of the familiar noise is resonant.

I don't think I've ever felt more uncomfortable than I do right now. We would be getting off the stage in a couple of seconds anyway so I think I can handle it.

"I'm very happy to be here." He pauses before our eyes connect. "And just think, nobody thought this would last."

My eyes widen at the slightest. What is he doing? This wasn't part of the plan.

I'm then caught off guard by Michael forcefully pushing me into a kiss, I have no choice but to oblige. I'm fuming inside though. Michael has never been this flashy with me. Ever. Is he showing me off for his own reputation? Was this the reason why Michael even agreed to opening up the VMA's? Does he think he can just use me for his own satisfaction?

We walk back off stage, as soon as we're out of view of everybody, I push him away from me.

"Michael, what the fuck was that?"

He steps closer to me but I back away further. "Don't even fucking come near me."

"I'm sick of the media-"