let me love you ~ michael jackson & ariana grande

epilogue

                     September 3rd, 2009

Ariana

A solemn hymn plays soothingly throughout the atmosphere, I'm sat in the front row alongside Michael's brothers and sisters, his parents and my children. My mother and my side of the family sit behind me while tons of other guests are here as well. We are currently at the private ceremony for Michael, he's going to be buried today.

After I spent hours and hours watching all the old footage that Michael has accumulated over the years, I was able to go to bed a bit easier last night. I think I just needed to see his face in motion one last time before he would be buried.

Paris, Prince, Blanket and Delilah walk up to the front respectfully and place a crown atop Michael's casket, he truly left this world the King of Pop.

The pastor proceeds to read an opening prayer and a scripture from the bible, Gladys Knight sings a gospel song and Clifton Davis, the original writer of Never Can Say Goodbye performs his rendition of it.

A small tear makes it's way down my cheek as he sings the tune so very passionately, after he's finished people are now set to go up to the stand and say a thing or two about Michael. Guests pay their respects with their speech and sit back down, it's now my turn.

I stand up nervously and pat down my black dress, walking up the steps of the platform, I then stand tall behind the podium, I take a deep breath and look down at my cue cards.

Screw it.

I rip up the thick pieces of paper and let it fall in front of me.

"I had this whole spiel planned out but...um...I think it'd be better if I spoke from the heart, it would mean a lot more..." I speak into the microphone in front of me, my palms start to get sweaty but I ignore them.

I look at the casket that sits just a few feet away from me and look back at the guests, I can do this.

"After almost 3 months, I still can't believe this is real...I still can't believe he's not here and I still can't believe I'm standing up here in front of everyone. We're all here today to talk about the beautiful person that Michael was. Not the King of Pop, not "Michael Jackson" but just Michael, my husband Michael. The Michael I knew was amazing, he was sweet, and caring, humble and kind, selfless...the type of selfless that was almost naive to be." I can feel the tears heating up in my eyes but I continue. "He would of took the clothes off of his bareback for anybody, would have gave anybody a place to sleep and eat, he was truly a wonderful man. This world didn't deserve him...he was also loving and passionate, he made me feel good about myself everyday whether I was being insecure or simply upset...he was able to make me feel better all the time." My voice starts to crack with emotions, I carry on. "He was...he was also a fantastic father." The tears are flowing heavy now. "He loved our kids more than himself, he cherished them like they were the most important thing on earth, they are the most important thing on earth by the way-" The guests laugh through their cries. "Overall, he was spectacular. He was a one of a kind person and there will never be anyone like him, ever." I wipe my eyes before continuing. "I loved him so much, he's the only man who's ever understood me on such a personal level, the only man who's ever treated me with with an immense amount of respect, the only man who I've ever truly been in love with." My heart beats fast as the tears stream down like waterfalls. "Michael was too good for the world and that's why he was taken so soon. He would have never hurt a fly yet everyone was set out on hurting him." I breathe in quickly before choosing to admit what occurred in my mind. "I know this is going to sound crazy but I know what's a coincidence and I know what is truly meant to be. Michael visited me in a dream about 2 months ago and I know it was for a reason. I don't care who believes me and who thinks I'm lying because at the end of the day, I know what I dreamt and I know I saw Michael in his element, in a pure world that he deserves to be in. I know he's also watching all of this right now from above and I just have a few last things to say to him. Michael, you were and will forever be a legend no matter if you're here with us or not. The talent you held was simply too much for a single person, there will never be another you. You delivered musically and dance wise every single time you hit that stage. You will leave this earth with billions of fans all over the world, adults, teenagers, children, maybe animals, I don't know." The people laugh again. "What I do know though is that I'm never going to stop loving you, your children are never going to stop loving you, your family will never stop loving you, you will be remembered forever, Michael. Forever." I look up at the dark, starry sky with my wet face. "I'm so happy you let me love you all those years ago, they battered you for years on end, you deserve the peace and tranquility that was ripped away from you on earth. I love you so immensely much. Now, rest..."