let me love you ~ michael jackson & ariana grande

downcast goodbyes

June 29th, 2005

Ariana

"Don't cry, Blanket." I try consoling our 3 year old who has been sobbing nonstop for the past 10 minutes.

"But I don't want leave, mommy!" His wails come out as little chokes and I rub his back soothingly.

"You'll be back before you know it, okay?" I kiss his face all over, pushing a few giggles out of him.

The rest of our children walk out of the house, the bodyguards help carry their luggage. Michael is the last one to leave. We finally came to a mutual agreement on what we would do with the kids, they'd be with Michael all the way until November which seems like a long time but with how fast it's been speeding by, I guarantee that it'll be over in a blink. Then they'd be coming back to stay with me til April.

I feel Paris's arms wrap around me, I hug my beautiful little girl tight. "I'm going to miss you so much, Paris. I love you."

"I'll miss you too, Mom." She's cuddled up close, I peck her face, telling her goodbye once more. "I love you too." She hops into the SUV and that's the last I see of her.

Prince stands in front of me, with Blanket still in my arms, I bring him into my hold with love. He laughs as he tries pushing me away. "Mom!"

"What am I going to do without your sarcastic comments and funny jokes?" He laughs happily. "I'll tell you them over the phone." He answers matter-of-factly.

He embraces me, getting into the car right after Paris. Dede then stands in front of me. She unfortunately lucked out on Michael's height so the 5"1 that she is...it's most likely going to stay that way.

I can feel the tears coming on and so can she. "Mom, it's only a couple months." She exclaims, smiling brightly.

"I know, I know! It's just...I don't know what I'm going to do without all of you, I'm so used to the environment being so hyper, it won't be like that for awhile." I admit, rubbing my arm up and down.

She throws her arms around me and I squeeze my eldest. "I'm going to miss you, mom. I'll make sure to take pictures!" She says, sliding into the vehicle.

Michael comes clear into view, Blanket sits on my waist comfortably. I try my very hardest to contain my tears but they flow out like a waterfall as soon as I feel Michael's touch.

I cover my mouth with my free hand, attempting to conceal the dampness that has taken over my face. Michael slithers his limbs around my torso, bringing me as close as possible.

"Stop crying right now or I'll start." He scolds, hiding the grin on his face.

"I can't stop." My words have pangs of sorrow and I'm almost begging him to stay until I realize that if I do, he will. "Knowing I won't see you guys for a few months is...really hard." I glance back at Blanket who's head rests against my chest.

"You can still come with us." He wears a little hopeful smile.

My head shakes on it's own. "I told you the plan...now get in that car before I pull you all out myself." I joke.

He leans into kiss me again and takes Blanket out of my arms. "I love you so much. I'll call you when we get to the airport." I wave the little toddler goodbye and watch the two disappear off into the van.

The sinking sensation that I've been feeling all morning purposely lingers around in my heart as I watch the vehicle drive off. Wiping my tears off, I step back inside to our home, shutting the front door.

I brew a cup of coffee in the mean time since it is pretty early in the morning, looking around at my surroundings is even more depressing. Maybe I should have went with them...