let me love you ~ michael jackson & ariana grande

shambles

November 20th, 2003

Ariana

I step into our home ever so gently, not exactly ready to face the horror that it's become. I would be coming back here to see the state it's in. The staff did tell me that they tried to clean everything up as best as possible but our bedroom was left untouched.

It's not surprising that the foyer is neat, as well as the living room and kitchen. I check all of our children's rooms and they're as clean as can be. The only scary part is seeing the room Michael and I share.

I walk towards the door and hesitate opening it, I dig down deep and find the courage that I need to open it. The door swings wide and I stride in slowly.

"Oh my god..." I mutter to myself. A great pang of sorrow grips my heart as I examine the area, our dressers are tipped over, our curtains are all cut up, the whole room is destroyed. Sobs start to rise in my throat, hitting me harder with each step. Even our mattress is in ruins, slashes are deep within the soft cushioning and I shake my head in disbelief.

The framed pictures of us, our families and friends that were once scattered all over the room walls now lay shattered on the floor.

The one photograph of Michael and I on our first date sits in front of my foot. I bend down, still shaking with cries and pick it up.

I take it out of the frame and admire the photo, we looked so happy. There wasn't one day I never stopped adoring this picture of us. This was clearly before the world turned their backs on Michael...it was before they turned their backs on me too.

I fold it up quickly and shove it into my back pocket, taking one last look at our room and leaving.

⊹⊱✫⊰⊹

December 25th, 2003

Ariana

"Ariana?" I ignore Michael, readjusting my shirt. We would be sitting in front of a camera crew in about 5 minutes, speaking about his arrest for the first time in a month. I've been cold to him ever since he told me we would be having this 60 minutes interview which was this morning. Michael actually left me out of this decision which is why I'm so upset. I'm too loyal to him to completely drop out of the interview as a whole but even if I'm putting up with it, that doesn't mean I'm putting up with him.

Just a week ago, Michael's official charges were also announced to the public by Tom Sneddon. One of them being that Michael tried giving alcohol to Gavin and Star. I mean, I can't even fathom how disgusting these things Michael is being accused of are. Coincidentally, it's Christmas today. You know, the day that's supposed to be all about joy and love and...the complete opposite of everything we've experienced in these past weeks.

To add to everything, Michael has been doped up almost every single day, higher doses each time. He's been in so much pain since his arrest, his arms were bruised from the handcuffs that the stupid detective clicked on too tight. It's been so intolerable for him that he's needed to up his meds. It's hard having to watch Michael be so out of it but it's even harder watching him suffer.

"Ariana..." I feel Michael reach for my waist but I move away. "Please...just hear me out..." He begs and begs until we're told by a producer that it's time.

I enter the main part of the suite where 3 chairs are seated, two beside each other and one across. Michael and I both take our time sitting in the chairs as the interviewer sits himself down too.