A Sudden Glimpse

Chapter 32 : Regrets & Suprises

Anong gagawin ko? Bakit ngayon na agad. I don't want to leave this place- i don't want to leave him. I want to be with Matthew kahit ngayong gabi lang. He needs me.

What now? Paano na si Matthew. I gather all my strength para tumayo na at magayos but something is stopping me. I found myself crying, pinipilit kong hinaan yung hikbi ko para hindi siya magising.

Ang sakit, ang sakit sakit sa puso parang biglang nawalan ako nang dahilan para sumaya. Ang hirap iwanan ni Matthew dahil napamahal na ako sakanya kahit papaano. Like? Love? Fuck it! I just want to be with him but i need to leave.

Bakit ba kasi hinayaan ko yung sarili kong ma attached sakanya na alam ko naman iiwan ako kahit anong mangyari. Bakit ngayon pang kailangan na kailangan niya ako...

I dialed the number.

"Cole?"

["Hey—teka! Umiiyak kaba?"]

"Cole, I- i don't want to go"

["Huh? Saglit lang malapit na ako"]

"Cole, please. I don't want to leave h-him" I'm trying my best to speak well without cracking my voice. I move to my room para hindi ako maingay.

I can't leave him like this.

["You love him don't you?"] he asked. Pain, parang sinaksak yung puso ko noong tinanong ako ni Cole. Maybe, maybe i do.

"I guess you're right, maybe i do love him Cole. Anong gagawin ko, please wag mo muna sabihin sakanila to lalo na kay Ellie" trying my best not to maintain the silence.

I heard him hummed as a response.

["I'm happy for you, really but..Ryuu, We all know that this thing is only part of your job right? I have no rights to say this but i think this isn't the right time for both of you"]

Cole expressed in his low voice. Trying to calm me down.

["Love is always a choice Alexa, Pagisipan mo mabuti, nga pala nandito na ako sa labas"] Napatigil ako sa pagiyak, I have no time left.

Baka tama nga si Cole, kung mag iistay ako knowing na i'm using and lying to him at some point hindi ba ayun ang mali? I do hope that time will give us another chance someday.

This is all my fault Matthew,

~

"Bakit mukhang namamaga ata mata mo Ryuu? Umiyak kaba? Umiyak ba to?"

Ayan agad ang tanong saamin ni Ellie pagdating namin sa headquarters. I peek on Cole na katabi niya. "Hindi, inaantok lang talaga ako kanina. wag mo nang pansinin"

I explained. The truth is of course i cried, mourn like there's no tomorrow habang papunta kami dito ni Cole.

Yes, i left him. I left Matthew.

"Okay, tara na hinihintay na tayo ni Director" i nod. I, gusto ko nang matulog muna. We remain silence haggang makarating kaming office ni Director Garcia. Si Cole naiwan sa labas.