Inner Monologues

Torn

When you have everything and seems happy, why do you still feel so lonely?

I have everything and I can count myself lucky, but is that enough when nobody is listening to me?

The people around me know me, know all of my stories, but at the end of the day they don't know what's going on inside me.

I feel lonely.

I want to open up, but what's the point if no one listens to me?

I'm screaming for help as I drowning, but no one is there to offer me a helping hand.

People want to help me, but don't know how and just carry on with everyday life as if nothing had ever happened and I'm lonely.

I've always been alone, had to deal with my inner demons on my own, but at the end they only got stronger and I can no longer tame them myself.

I push everyone away from me, don't answer any messages, don't take calls and only go out when I really have to.

My only medicine is the sound of music rushing through my small room 24/7.

It calms me down, tames my demons for a few hours, until life knocks again and reminds me that reality has to go on and that I should change something before it's too late, but I can't.

Something is preventing me from living and it is not only a burden on my parents - but also on myself.

I wish so much I could change something right away and make them proud again, but I can't, I'm so sorry.

I don't want to give up myself - for God's sake - I just want to be able to live again without any fears - and to not have the feeling that I'm not good enough for everyone.

I just don't want to be alone anymore.