Inner Monologues

Rosegarden

I gathered all my courage, grabbed the microphone and

without even thinking about it for a second I stood

on the stage and said the following:

"Here is a man in this room, whom I appreciate very much

and maybe we hurt each other and can't undo it.

But he should know one thing.."

I stopped for a moment and looked him straight

into his beautiful eyes, which let me say everything.

"...I love you. I did it the first second you came through that door for the first time.

I knew from the first moment that it was you.

It's you I want to laugh with at crazy jokes or anecdotes - only we can understand.

Who I just want to dance with, share with no one else, just you and me.

I see in your eyes and know I'm at home, it's hard not to look into this ocean blue

and to lose yourself.

You had my heart long before our hands brushed - before you asked me to dance

and let me float.

Everything is so simple around you - just the clear thinking and breathing is a little difficult,

but it's worth it.

Maybe we destroyed everything we had, but my love for you never dies.

You should know; no matter what happens in the next few moments,

my heart belongs to you and only you, it doesn't even try to beat for someone else,

'cause it knows that you are the right one for me.

I can't stand to watch you with someone else.

I just can't imagine you with someone else and I hope you neither.

'Cause I know one thing, that you love me somehow too,

you just don't really want to admit it and that's okay.

I'll wait, to the day you accept the fact that you are in love with me too

and to the day we can be the happily ever after we both deserve.

I love you. "

After these last 3 words I left the stage towards the exit as fast as I could and cried.

Not because I was sad, but because I just said it in front of everyone else

and I'm angry that he didn't move an inch, let alone show emotions.

He didn't follow me.

And that night I stayed alone in the beautiful rosegarden,

which otherwise always filled me with happiness, but now there is only sadness there.