Sage's next few days were the worst ones that she'd had in a long time. She stayed in bed all day and rarely ate. The only time that she actually got food in her system was when Hermione brought her back a plate from the dining hall and told her to eat it. She didn't even feel hungry, though. She skipped her classes on the first days of the next week, not even owling in sick. She just couldn't bring herself to get out of bed.
She would like to say that she was feeling this way because of her date and because her moment of fear really affected her, but she didn't want to lie to herself. Sure, she was still recovering from it, it was hard to just quickly get over something like that, but she knew that the real reason she felt like a black hole had taken over her insides was because of Fred.
She was still in complete shock that he had had all of these feelings for her that she had never known about but the main thing that she was feeling was immense guilt. The sad smile that had taken over his face the night of her date with Theodore had nearly killed her.
When she had gotten back to her room that night, a million memories flooded her head that just screamed 'you should have known'. All the times he looked at her the way that he did, the way he would come to her room just to check up on her, the times that he dropped all of his other plans when she asked something of him, the way that he held her and the way that he kissed her.
She had taken advantage of him, that was the bottom line. She should have seen things and she shouldn't have just turned a blind eye. She absolutely despised the fact that she had ever caused him any harm.
The other, more selfish, thing that was plaguing her mind was the knowledge that she had most likely lost him. She knew that he would always be there for her, but it wasn't the same. She would only feel guilty asking anything of him.
She knew that she wouldn't have him to do her homework with at half the speed that it should normally take or to murmur insults to each other about Ginny during meals. She was terrified that she'd never get to have any of those little things again.
She was also devastated that she'd probably lost the other part of their relationship, too. She knew that she should absolutely not be mourning over the loss of casual sex with him when he had fallen in love with her because of it and while he was dealing with what she assumed to be a broken heart, but she couldn't help herself. She had never had such good sex so often with someone that she trusted so much. It was something that she had taken for granted and the fear of losing it was horrible, no matter how selfish it may have been.
Basically, it all boiled down to her feeling like utter shit. Her brain always told her that she wanted to see her family whenever something like this happened in her life but she knew that she couldn't leave in the middle of the term.
She felt like shit and she couldn't get out of bed - didn't want to either. She was a coward and didn't want to face Fred. She knew that it would only make her feel even worse, whether it be because of guilt, sadness, or longing. It didn't matter anyway, they were all sucky feelings.
She was roused from her moping when the door to her room opened. She peeked her head up over the mountain of blankets that she was huddled under but buried herself right back in when she saw that it was only Ginny.
Ginny didn't say anything, just sat herself down on the side of the bed next to Sage's blanket-buried body.
Sage sighed and decided to break the silence after a few more uncomfortable seconds. "I know you're mad at me. I know that you have been for weeks but can you please not lecture me right now?" she asked weakly.
She felt Ginny place her hand softly on her hip, the comfort and head radiating even through the layers of blankets. "I'm not mad at you Sage. I'm sorry that I've been acting like such a cunt these past few weeks. I was just always seeing how hurt Fred was and I guess I assumed that you had to know about his feelings for you and that you were just playing with him."
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More Than That
Fanfiction"Rule number two - no kissing," Sage said. Fred opened his mouth with an incredulous look to retort but she continued before he could speak. "Or at least not without a purpose." Fred processed the information for a moment but then grinned his typica...
