More Than That

Chapter 32

When she got back to the Gryffindor rooms, Sage decided to make a quick stop at her room first before going over to Fred's so that she could get out of her dirty robes. She was also stalling a bit, but no one needed to know that. No one needed to know just how fast her brain felt like it was spinning inside of her head.

Hermione wasn't in the room when she got back - she was probably at Ginny's instead - so Sage had a room full of silence to pep-talk herself in as she quickly changed into a pair of pajamas.

"C'mon, Sage. You got this," she whispered to herself as she tied the waistband of her plaid pajama pants. "You should have done this a long time ago. Don't waste any more time."

She continued to hype herself up and before she knew it, she was sliding on her glasses, taking a deep breath, and opening her door.

Her head was buzzing as she made her way to his room. She tried to push her worries out of her head, the thoughts that told her that he'd stopped loving her already, and instead tried to remember everything that Luna had told her. She didn't know why everything sounded so much more rational when it came from her, but it did.

She saw the bottom of the door approach her feet more than she saw the actual door appear in front of her, and she took a deep breath before finally looking up from her feet.

She stood there for a long moment, her stomach a jumbled ball of nerves. She could feel her heart beating in her chest, could hear her blood pulsing past her ears.

It was exhilarating. If she didn't fuck this up, she could possibly be starting something amazing. She could be getting that relationship that she'd always craved with a boy who she felt so many feelings for that it scared her. The path that they had taken to get to this point didn't matter, it was the end result that counted. The exciting, scary, perfect, thing that could have blossomed out of the very mess that Sage had created.

She took a deep breath and felt her hand raise up to knock on his door before her brain could catch up to the action, deja vu flooding her head from the last time that she'd knocked. The time that she'd stood in front of this very door and prepared to tell the boy inside that she was about to make one of the stupidest mistakes that she'd ever make. Hopefully she was carrying better news this time around.

Fred opened the door but didn't say anything when he saw Sage, he just stared at her with eyes that were filled with a mix of shock, confusion, and tiredness. She couldn't tell if he was happy to see her or not, but she could tell that he was a bit done with opening his door to see Sage waiting to tell him something. Sage couldn't blame him. The last time hadn't turned out so well.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, every single thought that had passed through her brain in the last day decided to whirl around her head in that very moment.

I'm sorry.

I miss you.

I messed up.

I want to be with you.

Don't fuck that Ravenclaw girl.

Be my boyfriend.

I care about you so much.

I like you so fucking much.

But I don't love you yet, I can't.

"I don't love you," Sage blurted out before her brain could even comprehend what was coming out of her mouth. Her eyes immediately widened after the words came out. There was literally nothing worse that she could have said to him.