Come Back With Me

My Dearest Jaime

Bucky hadn't left his room all day. He didn't want to risk running into Sam and see his looks of pity. He is furious that his best kept secret finally got out.

He can't find himself to regret writing the letter. She deserves to know that he has loved her forever. He wished he had something of hers to hold on to. He knows Steve has her things but he can't bring himself to ask to see it.

He knows himself too well and know his weak resolve will crumble at her personal belongings and he'll go back.

He hears a knock on his door and knows it's Steve. He wants to ignore it but knows he doesn't have much time left with Steve so he opens the door.

Steve enters and looks around timidly.

"I'm not apologizing to Sam. The birdbrain should've kept his beak out of other people's business," Bucky says bluntly.

Steve sighs and leans against the wall.

"I didn't expect you to. But I do think you should. I wanted to let you know I'm thinking about giving the shield to Sam," Steve confesses.

Bucky looks at him with hurt that he is desperately trying to mask. But Steve is quick to explain his reasoning.

"It's not because I think you're not worthy of being Captain America. I think that you have had a long time fighting and deserve to rest. One thing I've learned as Captain America is that you never get to rest. He's a symbol that is idolized and the smallest flaw is put under a microscope. I don't want that for you. If you choose not to come back with me, I want you to live the happiest life you can shape for yourself may that be moving to Wakanda or continuing to fight," Steve says.

Bucky sees where Steve is coming from. It still hurts a bit but he agrees that Sam might be the best for the job. He's technically still wanted for murder and terrorism regardless. He's sure that that doesn't represent the ideals of our nation.

"You need to stop saying if I choose to come back with you. You already know I can't. I've decided and nothing you say can change my mind," Bucky says firmly.

Steve knows how stubborn Bucky could be. There is only two people who could ever get through to him when he was like this, his mother and Lizzie.

"Okay, I promise I won't ask again but I need to give you something first," Steve says.

Steve reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope. He hands it to Bucky and Bucky quietly gasps. The single word on the envelope has stunned him. Well not so much as the word but the handwriting. His name is written in the neat cursive of Elizabeth Rogers.

"This is the last time I'll bring it up but I'm going to make sure we have an extra suit and pym particles just in case," Steve says.

Bucky doesn't respond as he is still staring at the envelope. He doesn't even notice when Steve leaves the room. He looks at the envelope for what seems like hours. He finally decides to throw it away but his hands don't cooperate and begin opening the envelope and his eyes read the first line that immediately feels like a punch to the stomach.

My dearest Jamie,
I'm writing this letter to you on the eve of my wedding. You have been gone for nine years and I still can't help but feel guilty. I feel guilty for loving you. I feel guilty for loving him. I feel horrible because I have been loved deeply by two men which I should feel incredibly fortunate for and I do, but the pain is still there.

I am about to say the worst and most selfish thing in my entire life. I wish I was marrying you today. You are the love of my life and I have never gotten over you. I really don't think I'll ever get over you.

Tomorrow feels wrong. I'm excited that I get to get married with Peggy by my side but it's wrong without you and Steve. But you're gone, both of you.

Why did you have to die? Why'd you leave me alone? It's not fair, none of this is fair.

He loves me so much and I can't love him whole heartedly because I'm in love with a ghost. And I do love him but I know if you walked through the door I couldn't go through with it. You're not even here and I still feel like I might not go through with it.

But I have to move on. I have to try to make the best of this life that you and Stevie left gaping holes in. I don't know if I would have survived without Peggy but now I need my own family.

This is my billionth attempt to let you go. I'll probably try to burn this letter but I know I won't. I'll probably subconsciously leave the letter somewhere where my husband will find it so he'll know what a horrible person he married.

I just decided, I'll give it to Peggy. She'll know my heart is in this letter and she'll keep it safe.

Jamie, I really miss you. I don't know if I believe in soulmates but if I did, it be you.

Love always and forever,
Elizabeth G. Rogers

By the time he finishes the letter tears are streaming down his face.

He knew Steve never read the letter. Maybe Peggy told him what it was before he gave it to him. But really I think he just knows her too well. He knows both of them and knew that they were always meant to love each other. He also knew that she was one of the only people who could break through to him.

Sneaky Captain.

I guess I'm going back to the 40s.

I guess I'm going back to my girl.