Come Back With Me

He's Gone

Lizzie is barely able to sleep because she is so worried about Bucky. She really didn't want to leave him because she knows he's tearing himself apart.

She didn't blame him at all because he did warn her about waking him up during a nightmare. She just hates seeing him suffer and she thought she could help him like she does with his panic attacks.

It's still quite early when she decides to go back to her house. She just needed to see him and comfort him.

She writes a quick note to Steve, explaining that she went back before heading out the door.

The house is silent when she enters. She walks into the living room and sees that the furniture is back where it's supposed to be. As she walks across the house to their bedroom, she can't help but notice the scene of destruction.

There are dents and large gashes in the wall and there's a gaping whole from where Bucky nearly threw Steve through a wall.

Watching them fight was horrible but also sort of fascinating. They were both very good fighters and she's never seen people move like they do in a fight. She figures that they have to be good at it with all of the experience they have.

When she gets into the bedroom, the first thing she notices is the small dent from where he shoved her in the wall. She wasn't lying when she said that he didn't push her that hard but it still hurt.

The second thing she notices is that Bucky is nowhere to be found. Maybe he is in one of the spare bedrooms. She knows that sometimes it's too hard to sleep in their bed alone.

She checks all the bedrooms but still can't seem to find him. She yells out to him but he doesn't emerge from anywhere. She goes back up to their bedroom and it's only then that she notices the envelope on her pillow.

She has a feeling that what's in that envelope is bad.

She opens the envelope with shaking hands and pulls out the letter.

My Ellie,

I am so sorry. Please know that I am only doing this because I love you so much. I have to leave. I thought that I was safe for you but I was wrong. I thought that Hydra didn't have a hold on my actions anymore.

You and the baby mean the world to me and I will not risk your safety. I'm selfish but I can't be selfish with you.

I hope that you tell our child about me. I understand if you don't want to but if you do, can you tell them that I left because I love them? I hate that I have to leave you to raise him or her on your own but I know you can do it. You'll have Steve and Peggy to support you.

I pray that you understand why I have to leave but know that if I thought that I was safe, I'd never leave. I never intended to break my vows to you but I also never thought they would conflict. I promised to never leave your side again but I also promised to always protect you.

You are the love of my life, always have been and always will be. Know that you are always going to be in my heart and mind because you are my everything. Both of you are.

Yours forever, Jaime

P.S. I left the car at the bus station.

P.S. I love you

He left her. He actually left her.

She lets out a devastated scream.

Less than a minute later, Steve comes bursting through the door. He could feel her anguish through their connection. He quickly examines the situation but is confused when all he sees is his twin viscously sobbing.

He scans the room for Bucky but can't find him anywhere.

"What's wrong?" Steve asks urgently.

"He's gone," she says between sobs.

Steve is blindsided but he really should have seen this coming. Bucky constantly lives with guilt for all the people he hurt that it makes sense that he would feel the guilt a hundred fold since it was Lizzie he hurt.

But just because he understands his motivation, doesn't mean he agrees with what he did. What happened was an accident and no reason to abandon his pregnant wife.

"Did he say where he went?" Steve asks.

If he gave some kind of hint, maybe Steve can find him before he gets too far. He knows that once he's out of New York, it will be near impossible to track him down. After DC, it took him years to track him down and that was only because he was on terrorist watch and he got a tip from Sharon.

"He just said that he'd leave the car at the bus station," Lizzie says.

Steve know that minutes count if he wants to find Bucky in time.

"I'm going to go try and find him," Steve says.

He turns to leave but Lizzie stops him.

"Don't waste your time. He obviously doesn't want to be found. I'm not going to force him home, if he wants to come home, he knows where it is," she says apathetically.

Her dead tone unnerves him. She was sobbing just minutes ago, why the sudden switch?

"Don't you want me to stop him?" Steve asks.

"If Bucky wants to act like a child and not work on our issues like married adults, then so be it. I have an actual child that I have to take care of and the stress of this whole situation is not good for the baby. I can't afford to break down right now," she says.

He knows that she needs Bucky and she doesn't know how to handle him leaving. Focusing on the baby will help distract her from how bad she is hurting.

He decides that he will search for Bucky no matter what Lizzie says. He refuses to let his niece or nephew be fatherless. Steve vows that he will find his stupid best friend and bring him back even if that means he has to drag him screaming.

"Lizzie, I know I can find him," Steve insists.

"You can't exactly go searching the streets for him. You can't leave the state let alone the country or you risk exposure," Lizzie says.

She has a point and Steve knows it. He doesn't want to risk Peggy and Lizzie's safety by getting discovered.

"Peggy and I will go pick up the car. I would feel more comfortable if you slept at our house for the next couple nights," Steve says.

Lizzie knows that Steve is worried but she doesn't want to be a burden. She can do this on her own, she has to.

"I'll be fine, Steve," she says in exasperation.

Lizzie always represses to avoid pain. She's refusing to let herself fully acknowledge the situation in order to avoid the hurt. It's easier for her to pretend nothing is wrong but Steve knows that she's going to break sooner or later. He knows that he would if it was Peggy who left.

"You can either sleep at our house or I will sleep here. It's your choice but those are your two options," Steve says firmly.

He saw how devastated she was before she locked it all down and he knows that he needs to be there when she inevitably breaks again. He will be there for her always.

Lizzie knows that Steve is 100% serious about his threat.

"Fine, I'll stay with you but only for a couple days," Lizzie says.

"I'll set up a room for you," Steve says.

If Steve has his way, she'll be there a lot longer than a few days. His twin is in pain, even if she is suppressing it.

It's their job to take care of each other so that's what he is going to do.