Come Back With Me

She Holds On To Him

The years have been both kind and cruel to Lizzie, it seems she blinks her eyes and it's 1948.

She is thriving at Stark Industries and has managed to head her own Biotech department. She finds it incredibly ironic that a weapons company also has a department that focuses on medical technology but she isn't complaining.

One of the best things about the last few years is her relationship with Peggy.

Peggy is the reason that Lizzie has survived all these years. She literally saved Lizzie from falling in a pit of depression. There are still days that Lizzie just doesn't want to get out of bed but Peggy is always there to help her out of her slumps.

Peggy is a sister to Lizzie and vice versa. She would have loved to have her as a sister-in-law but it seems that the universe has stopped listening to Lizzie's wishes years ago.

She also has Stan. Stan is a great friend and she values his company greatly. They have been friends for over two years now and he has been with her through many highs and lows.

She just wishes she didn't see that look in his eyes when he looked at her. She knows that look because Riley and Bucky used to look at her that way. She first noticed it about half a year ago and has been praying that it goes away.

She loves him but she's not in love with him. She can't be in love with anyone because her heart will always always belong to someone else.

She tries her best to discourage him but she knows it's a losing battle. She knows one day they will most likely have to address it but she sincerely hopes that day doesn't come.

The day Lizzie fears every year finally comes around, March 1st. Exactly three years ago today, the love of her life died.

In three days on March 4th, Peggy and Lizzie will mourn Steve's death together but today, Lizzie needed to be alone.

She drives up to the old lookout where she has so many memories of Bucky. It took her three years to make it to this spot but she feels like she finally can face it.

She gets out of the car and walks to the outcropping of rock that they sat on after her mother died.

For years, she's avoided thinking of him. She buried him in a box deep in her mind and never touched it.

Today, she finally opens that box.

"Hi, Jaime. It's your Ellie. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you till now but I hope you understand. I hope you've been able to see me through the years wherever you are and I hope you're proud of me because I'm proud of me. I know we planned on me getting my doctorate but one thing I learned over the years is that plans change," she says.

She lets one tear slip out but refuses to let the floodgates open. She knows if she starts crying, she won't be able to stop and she needs to get this out.

"I miss you. I miss you so damn much and when I think about you I can still feel the gaping hole that you left. I'm still so mad that you left me. I know you didn't want to but you still did. People fear their death but I fear living. It's only been three years and I feel as if I can't go on. How am I supposed to do this for the rest of my life?"

She looks down at her engagement ring that she still hasn't taken off and briefly remembers what she felt when he first slid it on her finger.

"You'll be happy to know that I've had people to help me get by. Stan from your bootcamp has been very caring," she says.

She leaves her description of Stan at that because she already feels guilty about his feelings without bringing them up to Jaime.

"I know you knew Peggy but I wish you had a chance to really know her. She's absolutely incredible and I know that if Steve and you lived, we would have been a great family together. She perfectly fits the description of how I imagined Steve's wife would be. The one perfect thing that came out of this horrible situation is her," she says.