Come Back With Me

We Can't Risk It

It's been a week since Lizzie died and it's not getting any easier for Bucky. He wakes up and goes through the motion but the only reason he's going on is for his kids. He's trying to keep it together but one of his reasons for living is gone.

He eats when he's supposed to. Takes care of the kids when he is supposed to. He doesn't sleep when he's supposed to but that's understandable. The nightmares are horrible but the dreams are worse. The dreams trick you into thinking you're happy just to open all those wounds when you wake up.

The twins keep asking for Lizzie because they are still too young to understand she is gone permanently.

The one thing that's keeping him going other than his children is his drive for revenge. He's been planning for days the best way to take down the hydra base. He'd prefer to do it with Steve but he's not counting on him.

Leaving the country won't be a problem. He's known how to forge papers since his earliest years in Hydra. To be an assassin, you have to be untraceable and he definitely knows how to do that. The only reason that Steve ever found him in Bucharest was because he was plastered on the world news.

He's not even worried about any Hydra operatives. Sure, there were a few skilled fighters but he could take any of them.

No, his real problem will be The Winter Soldier. They should be pretty evenly matched but Bucky will have the edge because he knows his fighting style and he will be fighting for revenge. For him, there is no stronger motivation.

He takes the ring that is hanging off his neck and presses it to his lips. Her wedding band sits right over his heart which is fitting because his heart belongs to her, even in death. It was her's since she kissed his cheek on New Years so many years ago.

He looks over at the frame that is sitting face down on the dresser. He flipped it over because it was too hard to see her face all the time but he needs to see her right now. He lifts it off the dresser and looks at her beautiful face.

It's a picture from their wedding day. She was laughing because he had just swept her into his arms. She is holding on to him tightly but he would never drop her.

He is looking down at her with a smile on his face. He can see the love in his eyes as he stares down at his favorite person in the world. He realizes that he will never have that expression on his face again. He will never love anyone again. He will live out his days with his children until the inevitably leave him too. He will live out his days never being truly happy again.

"What I wouldn't do for ten more minutes with you," he whispers.

He traces her features in the photograph. This is the closest he'll ever get to seeing her again. He has no doubt that if heaven exists, she'll be there but he has no idea where he will end up.

He walks to the upstairs window and looks at the backyard where he sees Steve chasing the kids around. The twins took their first steps a few days ago and it almost immediately turned into running.

He watches as Steve swoops down and picks both kids up at the same time causing them to giggle. Steve smiles at Peggy who has Sarah on her lap.

He knows he should be the one downstairs playing with his kids but he needs to do this. He can focus on being a good father when hydra has been dealt with.

Bucky knows he needs to touch base with Steve again to see if he's with him or not. A majority of his planning depends on if Steve is coming. He decides to go outside to ask him now.

As he walks outside he truly begins to notice the improving weather. With March around the corner, winter is behind them. The warm sun contrasts drastically with Bucky's mood.