Come Back With Me

It's Okay To Be Scared

Bucky has been gone for two weeks when she first notices the slight swell of her stomach. It is a little early to be showing but she's a small woman so it makes sense.

Everything becomes so real in that moment. She's going to have a baby. A real child that will be half her and half Bucky.

She wishes Bucky was here so she could throw something at him. She was so mad at him for leaving her when he promised he wouldn't. The first time he left because he didn't have a choice. This time is worse because he chose to leave and now her baby isn't going to have a father.

Lizzie never thought that she would have to raise them on her own. Bucky was always meant to be there next to her through all the trials. But she'll make sure the baby won't want for anything. She'll make sure that she'll be a good enough parent to be both a mother and a father.

She's out of her first trimester so her morning sickness has finally stopped which is a miracle in itself. She hasn't gained any weight and she knows that she needs to. Luckily, Steve is more than happy to help take care of her and the baby so he is constantly cooking to try to get her weight up.

She is so glad that she has Steve right now. She fought initially on staying with Peggy and Steve but it is making it so much easier to cope.

It would be hard coming home from work to an empty house.

There's a knock on her bedroom door and she yells come in as she lowers her shirt. Peggy pops her head through the door.

"Oh, wow. I didn't really notice you were showing already," Peggy notes.

"It's actually quite early. I'm about fourteen weeks pregnant and woman tend to start showing at sixteen to eighteen on average. It's probably because I'm so small that it's more noticeable," Lizzie explains.

Peggy sits down on the edge of the bed and Lizzie notices how preoccupied she looks.

"You didn't come in here to talk about that so what brings you here?" Lizzie asks.

"I think I might be pregnant," Peggy blurts out.

Of all the things Peggy could have told her, it definitely wasn't that.

She can't read Peggy's expression because she's wearing a million of them at the same time.

Anxiety. Happiness. Frustration. Excitement. Fear. Hope.

"Okay, does Steve know?" Lizzie asks cautiously.

"No! And you can't tell him. I don't want him to know until I'm sure," Peggy says.

"Was this planned?" Lizzie asks.

Peggy is beginning to panic because talking about it is making it feel more real. She bursts to her feet and starts pacing the floor.

"Of course it wasn't planned! We just got married and I'm definitely not ready to be a mother. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to be a mother. I will have to quit my job or at least go on a leave of absence. I've worked so hard for my job and I don't want to leave it yet. I love Steve and I do eventually want to start a family but I wanted it to be at the right time," Peggy rants.

Lizzie understands how hard it will be for Peggy to stop working. Both women work in fields that are largely dominated by men and they've had to work so hard to get to where they are. Peggy is only twenty eight and it would be hard to give up her career so early.

"You won't have to quit permanently, just for your pregnancy. I already talked to Steve and he said that he will take care of my child during the day so I can keep working and of course he'll do the same with yours," Lizzie explains.

Peggy's shoulders slump and her head drops.

"I know he will. Steve is going to be a great father but I dont know if I will be a good mother. My parents were always gone and look at the relationship I have with them now. I don't want to quit but I also want my baby to recognize me when I come home. On top of all that, Steve can't work so I have to. Even if I'm not an agent anymore, I'll have to have some job which forces me away too," Peggy says.

It was an impossible situation and both of them knew it. If she was pregnant, Peggy would have to make some very hard choices.

Lizzie takes Peggy's hands in hers.

"If you are pregnant, know that I will back you 100% in anything you decide to do. If you decide to keep working once the baby comes, I'll make sure to tell them every night about their hero mom who is off saving the world. If you decide to stay home, I'll make sure that you guys are taken care of financially," Lizzie says.

Peggy immediately starts protesting but Lizzie stops her.

"You and Steve have taken care of me throughout the years, let me take care of you for a change. Howard pays me more than enough to support all of us. If the situation was reversed, we both know you would the same. Family takes care of each other and you, Steve and my niece or nephew are my family," Lizzie says.

Peggy is crying at this point.

"You're my family, you and Steve are the best family I've ever had. I mean, there may not even be a baby and you already have everything worked out," Peggy says.

"Peggy... we both know that you wouldn't have told me if you weren't sure you were pregnant," Lizzie says.

Peggy sighs and drops her head.

"I just don't want Steve to know yet because I need to wrap my head around it first. Steve is going to be so happy and I don't want to bring him down with all my fears," Peggy says.

"It's okay to be scared, I'm terrified," Lizzie admits.

"You're scared? You were made to be a mother," Peggy says in surprise.

"I was ready to be a mother because Jamie was always meant to be my baby's father. I didn't imagine having kids when I was younger until I got together with Jaime. When he disappeared, I gave up the idea of kids because I couldn't imagine loving someone enough to have a kid with them. When he came back, that dream resurfaced. I was never meant to raise our child without him," Lizzie says.

They sit in silence as they think over what Lizzie has said.

"I'm so scared that something is going to go wrong with the pregnancy. I miss Jaime so much and this is my last piece of him," Lizzie says.

Peggy is furious at Barnes for doing this to her best friend. If he comes back, she may actually shoot him.

"You know Steve and I will be with you through everything you know," Peggy says.

"I know, you two and the baby are the reason I'm not completely falling apart right now," Lizzie admits.

Peggy hesitates because she doesn't want to give Lizzie false hope but she also needs to comfort her.

"Barnes still might come back," Peggy says.

"I know, but I can't count on that. I can't count on him right now," Lizzie says sadly.

"No, but we can count on each other. We are both going to be mothers and our children will be cousins. We can do this together," Peggy says.

Lizzie wishes that Bucky was here more than anything but with Steve and Peggy, she will be okay.

They will be okay.