She's So Particular (Complete)

I Feel Too Much Whilst He Feels Nothing At All

2 days later

"Camila Mendes!" Shouts Anwar and all the guys start clapping "Trust you" he slaps my back as Gabe and Tom watch me like a soldier returning from war

"Did you fuck her?" Asks Tom and I cringe at the question

"Na, just some drunken making out"

"Meaning she turned you down"

"No, meaning I just wasn't up for it"

"Meaning you couldn't get it up" laughs Gabe and I shove his shoulder hard "Hey it was just a joke" he complains

"Fuck you" I spit before dropping down behind the mixing desk, a war of emotions raging in my head

"So we weren't invited to the Grammys but you were" says Anwar, reigniting the feud that had us fighting in the corridors "How was it? apart from an opportunity to get your leg over a small time tv star"

"Fuck you!" I spit in his direction but he just laughs and twirls his drum sticks before drilling them against the desk

"What the hell's wrong with you? Normally you're more than happy to talk about your conquests. I remember a certain little t.v darling you even graded her performance

"Yeah well I was probably drunk, I'm not drunk now so I don't want to talk about it"

I search for the intro to the latest song we're working on and blast it trying to blast the cobwebs from my mind

"Sorry I'm late"

Thiago pushes his way into the studio balancing a coffee and a dessert in his hands

"I was with Camila"

My heart leaps in my chest at her name and I look down at where it lies below my T-shirt pounding like an alarm bell in my brain

"She's working on magic in there right now, I don't know where it came from but hell it's good"

I can't help but wonder about the new song, it just suddenly came to life? My ego can't help but wonder if it's about me, about what's been going on between us. I try to ignore the part of my brain that's worrying that she saw me at the Grammys and it hurt her.

She knows we're nothing serious, right?

She knows we were just having fun?

As the worry in my brain begins to spread I jump up and head out of the room, I don't know where I'm going but I know I need to leave

*******************

I spot her standing in the kitchen with her back to me, she's wearing denim cut offs and I can't stop myself from dragging my gaze over the exposed skin of her legs all the way to the sliver of skin left exposed by her black cropped T-shirt and before I know what I'm doing I'm standing behind her and sliding my hands from her waist to her stomach.

"Hi" I whisper into her ear, the memories of Camila Mendes lost in the hot haze she invokes when we are together but I feel her tense in my arms and I know I'm going to have some work to do

********************

His hands sliding around my waist and his voice against my skin make my body turn on like a tv screen that's sat in darkness and then been plugged in and it goes from black to 4k, surround sound, 3D and my mind struggles to make sense of the effect he has on me but then I remember how humiliated I felt when Nesto put that laptop in front of me. The hands that are now touching me were touching another girl just a few nights ago and that thought makes my body turn cold.

"How's Camila Mendes?"  My voice sounds bitter and jealous when I know I have no right to be

"I don't know" he moves my hair over my shoulder, exposing my neck, I should have some self respect and stop him but it feels so good I stare ahead and then close my eyes as his lips connect with the sensitive skin of my neck "I haven't spoken to her since the night of the Grammys"

His teeth graze my neck as his hands massage my stomach and my whole body screams for him to touch my more intimate places, so far he's only had his hands on my ass but when my body feels as alive as this I want his hands all over me ... just like they were all over Camila Mendes

"Stop..." it's the last thing I want him to do but I know I have to stop this, I'm beginning to feel too much whilst he feels nothing at all

"Come on Camila..." his fingers toy with the waistband of my shorts as his mouth kisses my exposed shoulder "I didn't do anything wrong. It was just a drunken kiss" his hands move over my stomach to the skin just below my bra and my body is begging him to dip below the fabric and show me what it feels like to have a mans hands on my breasts but my brain sees nothing but his hands all over Camila Mendes

"I don't want to be just another Camila you make out with" I admit as my heart begins to thump out of control

"So what do you want to be?" He asks as he takes my ear lobe between his lips and squeezes it tight and I have to bite down on my lip to stop me moaning in pleasure

"Nothing" his mouth pauses and then releases my flesh "I don't want to be anything to you" I lie as internally I finally admit to myself that I want to be everything to him

"Because Of Camila?" He asks before pushing away from me

"Because of you" I say before turning and walking from the kitchen and walking straight into Gabe, his face telling me he has something to say

******************

"I have news" announces Gabe and I turn half heartedly in his direction, Camilas rejection still weighing on me "I have a date" he announces and I roll my eyes in disinterest "with Camila"

Fuck! The shock of that statement stung way deeper than it should have

"I just asked her out and she said yes. I guess that night in the club really did something to her"

I clench my teeth not wanting to say a word, not wanting any of these motherfuckers to know how close I am to smashing Gabes head against the wall

"I'm taking her to dinner then a club and then fingers crossed she'll be screaming my name over my kitchen table"

He laughs but it's too late for him, I have him by the collar of his shirt and slam him down onto the ground "Keep away from Camila" I seethe into his neck "Touch her and you are a dead man"

*so I'm in the middle of the woods camping but really wanted to update this as it's just broken into the top 100 on the Shawmila tag for the first time since I published it I know it's slow moving but I have faith it can be a good Shawmila Story in time