She's So Particular (Complete)

There Is No Stopping This

Raising my hand to Shawns chest I push him from me whilst I try to catch my breath

"More" he growls whilst trying to catch my lips with his once more but we've been lying on his couch making out for so long my lips are beginning to hurt

"Are we just going to make out or can we actually talk?" I ask, pushing myself to a sitting position whilst he runs a hand through his hair and throws himself back against his black leather sofa

"Well you know my preference" he smirks and winks but he doesn't move to close the gap between us so I take that as a sign he's maybe willing to do more than just kiss me tonight

"Why did you care that I was with Gabe?"

"Why did you dare I was with Camila?" He counters and I lean back against the soft material, not wanting to be the first to open their heart but aware that with Shawn, It might be a while until I get another opportunity to talk to him with honesty

"I was jealous" I admit

"Ditto"

"Oh my God I love that movie!" I say over enthusiastically as I grab his arm but the look on his face tells me he hasn't seen the movie in question and is wondering if I just lost my mind "It doesn't matter" I blush

"Camila, look, I don't date"

I sigh and roll my eyes wondering why I expected anything else from him

"But I also don't make out with the same girl multiple times knowing sex isn't on the table"

My face burns as he acknowledges just how pathetic I am, 19 years old and sex isn't even an option, I drop my head into my hands and sigh

"What?" His fingers wrap around my wrist and pull my hands from my face

"What are we doing here Shawn? You're a guy who likes women, likes to sleep with as many women as possible and I'm a girl that hasn't slept with any guys at all. We are on two completely different pages right now"

"And yet you're the only girl I want right now" He isn't looking at me as he speaks, he's just staring straight ahead as though the truth is too embarrassing for him to admit

"I'm not going to sleep with you"

"I know that and I don't care"

"I can't do this and then turn a blind eye when you make out with other girls or sleep with other girls"

"Camila..." he turns and looks at me whilst he laces his fingers with mine "did you just hear me? I don't want any other girl right now"

"You wanted Camila Mendes"

"I kissed Camila Mendes because I was drunk and she was keen and I... I hadn't admitted to myself that we... you are all I want right now. Whether it's making out or arguing or avoiding each other, the stuff with you, good and bad, it makes me feel something in a way nothing else does"

"Are you saying this so I will make out with you again?"

"If you make out with me again can I put my hands on your ass?"

I feel myself shrink away from him, Gabes words still stinging my mind

"What?"

"Nothing"

"That's not true, you look like I said something wrong, what is it?"

He lifts a hand to my face and brushes my bangs from my forehead as I drop my gaze to the thighs that are peeping out from under my dress and making my stomach clench with shame

"Talk to me. What did I say wrong?"

"It wasn't you"

"Who then?"

"Gabe just... he made a comment before"

"Gabe is an asshole ignore him" his thumb brushes my cheek and then moves over my bottom lip and I see him bite down on his own

"Yeah" He looks at me like he knows I'm not buying it

"Tell me what he said"

"It doesn't matter"

"Yes it does he's hurt you"

"That's not hard to do"

"Camila, tell me what the asshole said"

"Just that if I lost some weight off my ass and thighs  I would notice the difference, that I was too short to carry that amount of weight" I lower my head, so embarrassed by his words, embarrassed that Shawn was looking at me when I was obviously so disgustingly fat

"He was joking though right?"

His face is tense as his hand moves to hold my chin and I shake my head

"I'll kill him"

"Shawn.."

"What the fuck?! Like you don't have enough people telling you everything that's wrong with you without some dick head like that adding to it"

I drop my head but he immediately lifts it up so I can't look anywhere but into his eyes

"You are beautiful, your ass is a work of God, if anyone can't see that then they deserve to be lead into the desert and shot"

He drops his lips to mine and I don't fight against it, loving the way his words soothe my soul as his mouth soothes my overworked lips

"I can't be what you deserve Camila, I just hope to God I'm what you want, even if it's just for now, until you realise you deserve better because believe me when I tell you that you're all that I want"

His hands grip my jaw as he pulls me to him, his mouth taking and consuming mine as he pulls me onto his lap

I know that this... whatever this is between us can never end happily, we will never marry or start a family but maybe just maybe for now we can be whatever the other one needs and bring some pleasure and inspiration to each other, if not, we are about to write the most beautiful songs about heartache and heartbreak because one way or another, there is no stopping this

***************

"CAMILA!"

I jolt awake and gaze around my still dark room in shock

"KARLA!!!"

Fuck!

It's my dad and my first name which means something is wrong, very, very wrong

I jump out of bed and grab my robe, wrapping it around my body just as my bedroom door crashes open and then slams shut.

"Nesto!" I gasp as he slides the lock closed

"He sold you out Camila" he says whilst moving to me and wrapping me in a bear hug "last night, he went straight to the press. Everyone knows, your dad knows..."

*vote? Comment? Follow? Please?