I sat there holding in my sobs, my body trembling from fear and sadness.
All I felt was sadness and anger. I don't know why my emotions are always all over the place. All I wanted to do was hug Cameron but than there's Damon, the boy that I first loved.
Well I thought I did...
Damon left the house and I sat on the couch just letting everything out, all the sadness, all the anger, all the fear, everything. I held myself and waited till he got home, I just needed to talk to him. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me it was okay.
It had been an hour since I've sat here crying and Cameron still hasn't come home, that was until I heard the door open and I heard him close it than lock it. He walked in and his face immediately dropped, his eyes looked at me as I knew i probably looked like I had been run over. He came over and scooped me up in his arms and sat down on the couch and held me close. I sniffled and wrapped my arms around him hugging him.
"I love you Cameron." I whispered.
"Jen..." He trailed off.
I looked at him, guilt all over his face. I sat up and stared at him. Something was wrong he wasn't acting like himself lately.
"I need to tell you something.." He said faintly.
"What is it?"
"You're gonna hate me.." Tears pricking the corners of his eyes.
"Cameron, tell me." I said sternly.
"I'm so sorry..."
"You're scaring me what is it!" I said loudly.
"...I'm so sorry... It was a mistake, I was drunk and she was drunk. I only love you and only you." He broke out into tears.
I couldn't believe what he just said, it's like my ears stopped listening but my mind had thoughts running wild. I looked down at my hands and felt a lump in my throat start to form, this couldn't be happening right? It was like a lie, a dream maybe.
But this, this was reality.
I held back the tears, I needed to hear more. I wanted to know everything that happened, no matter how gross or how bad it was. I deserved to know every part that went on.
"What happened after you got drunk.." I said as I blinked away the tears.
"We went back to her place and began kissing, it wasn't much but than later it got heated and than you know what happened next.." He moved closer to me but I scooted as far away as I could.
"Why.." I whispered on the verge of tears.
"It was a dumb mistake and I'll never do it again!" He said pulling me closer.
I pulled away and sat on the far edge of the couch all I wanted to do was fade away and disappear into thin air, but this was the real world. Things like that don't happen.
"I need to know every detail..." I said quietly.
"Please don't make me do this." His voice cracking.
"I said tell me every detail." I said louder but it sounded more like a sob.
"I-I can't, I can't do that to you.."
"Did you tell her you loved her..?" My mouth hardly letting me speak.
His face broke, it was like the life had just drained out of him right then and there. That's when I knew he had feelings for her.
"I can't believe you.." I said as I stood up, I didn't care who saw me.
"I'm so sorry."
"You have feelings for her Cameron! Sorry isn't fixing anything!" I screamed through tears.
"Well I don't know of anything I can do or say!" His voice loud as he stood up. I flinched and took a step back.
"P-please don't hurt me."
He looked like somebody had just hit him in the stomach, ever since things happened in the past I was scared the same thing would happen.
He took a step back, "has anybody hurt you before..?"
"It was nothing." I said as I looked at my hands.
"I love you." He said as he walked over and put his arms around me.
I just sat there lifeless, I didn't wanna hug him back. I didn't wanna see his face anymore, I just wanted to walk away. So that's what I did, I stood up without a word and walked outside to my car, he ran after me. His face red and tear stained.
"Please don't leave me, I can't live without you!" He said through sobs.
I didn't say anything back, I started up my car and left. I stopped at a gas station some ways down and just parked in cried, that's all I could. That's all I would allow myself to do. I didn't wanna leave but I had to, I would've just let him back in so easily. I can't be that person anymore, I don't wanna be someone's property or door mat.
I whispered quietly, "I'm so sorry."
a/n: officially crying because this is the last chapter until the end..
:(
