Begin Again | Park Jeongwoo

16

Chapter 16: How we both love you...

"I love you."

It sounded like a whisper because I was forcing myself not to cry. But when he doesn't reply after a minute, I simply nod my head and give him a downhearted smile.

Pathetic.

Since I have nothing to say anymore, I turned my back from him and started to walk away. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't even followed me. But I wish he would.

I don't know where I am heading right now. All I want is to get away from this place and lock myself inside my room. Cry all night and blame myself for everything. But it seems like I am lost. I don't know this hallway anymore. I want to ask these people but I am feeling miserable to speak. Whatever, who cares if I get lost anyway?

But damn. I've been walking here for like thirty minutes! Just where is the fucking exit? Why does this school has to be this big and complicated?! Fuck!

"Aghh!" I let out a loud groan out of frustration. Good thing, I am in a part of this school where there is no one around. It's deserted and dark. That is how lost I am.

I voluntarily sit on this empty hallway. I have lost all my will to keep going. Hugging my knees like a whimpering kid makes me look more pathetic. I started to cry while thinking about what happened.

Is this where my fears would lead me? Just when I thought I could love again, now he gets tired of waiting. I thought he'll wait. I thought he'll be patient.

"Get up." I told myself.

But you know, some things are easier said than done. I couldn't get up. I just want to stay here for a moment and maybe cry until somebody sees me and show me the exit.

I thought of texting Asahi to pick me up so I get my phone from my bag. But to my surprise I saw someone walking in the dark and he's heading towards me. I should stop crying now. Someone's here. I wiped my tears and decided to stand up. When the guy approached the light, I almost cried again.

Jeongwoo stopped from walking two meters away from me. He's still wearing his clothes from their performance. He's standing there with his hands inside his pockets. Staring at me like he's waiting for me to say something.

"Do you even know where you're going?" He asked in monotone.

"Why are you here?" I asked, avoiding his cold gaze.

"I know you'll get lost so I followed you." he said. So he's not here to confront me?

"Just show me the way so I could leave already." I said.

"Why are you going to leave?" he asked. I am not really used to him being this cold towards me. It feels like I am talking to a completely different person. And the way he looks at me, it's different. The warmth and gentle on his eyes are not there anymore. All I could feel is bitterness and it's cold.

"There's no reason for me to stay anymore." I said, my voice cracked at the end.

"Am I not enough reason?" He asked, making me look up to him. "I know you don't want me the way I want you. But I am still hoping that my feelings for you will be reciprocated. So I am asking you this time, Asami, when you said that you love me, did you really mean it?"

I tried to hold back my tears from falling. Because while looking at his eyes, it glimmers with pain and despair, making it so hard for me to even look at him.

"I love you." I whisper, his mouth agape. "I meant it the first time and I still mean it now." When he doesn't say anything, I go on. "But I'm so afraid, Jeongwoo, that's why I avoided you. And I knew to my heart that I'm being unfair but it's so hard to believe in such words again...