lover :: njh

[21]

*quick a/n: the rest of the book will be written in third person point of view. okay carry on :)*
"chances are when said and done, who will be the lucky ones who make it all the way"

i'm the worst. you can kill me later.

he never meant for this to happen. he never meant to take anyone home, especially another girl, other than emily.

she had gone out of town for no more than a week. he had gone to a bar for no more than a night.

he just was going to have an innocent drink, and he never intended to take anyone home. but she was flirting, and he was drunk. everything happened too fast for him to protest. even though he couldn't remember anything about it.

all he knew, was how hurt em would be when she found out.

he fought with his thoughts for a long while, deciding if he should tell her or not. but as everyone knows, the base of relationships is trust, and honesty. so starting off lying to her would crush her more than the truth its self would.

even though he knew that he might lose her.

he had to do it. he had to tell her.

she smiled, opening her door and letting him inside her house.

"i missed you" she whispered against his chest as she held him in a warm and welcoming embrace.

he could already feel the tears brimming his eyes, as he held her as tightly as he possibly could without hurting her.

"i missed you, too"

and he had missed her. he really had. he just had no excuses for taking somebody else home, other than he missed her, he missed being with her, so damn badly.

"emily, i think we need to talk about something" he finally gained the courage to speak up.

once they had sat down, he began.

"em,  first you need to know that i do care about you, and i do care about your feelings. you mean more to me than anything in the world. and i don't know what i'll do if i lose you. but you must understand, that i've done something. and it was a stupid something, and i wish that i could take it all back."

he proceeded to tell her about his mistake, tears streaming down not only her cheeks, but his too.

she nodded as he begged her for forgiveness, but she knew in her heart, that it was her own fault for letting someone crumble her walls. the walls of protection over her heart, that she had built up over time. and she also knew that she should never have fallen for such a man as niall.

but it would have been merely impossible for her not to forgive him. she had to, because that is just who she was.

he left her house that day, knowing that he couldn't see her again, in the same way he had before. he would always and forever hate himself for what he had done to her. and he understood that she couldn't just ask him to stay.

even if she would have, he would've said no. and it wasn't because he didn't wish to be with her from then until the end of the earth. but it was because he was scared. scared that he might hurt her again, but worse than he already had.

and that was one thing that he couldn't do.