Unlasting || Kim Taehyung

23: Distance

Unfortunately time didn't seem to help, no matter how hard you tried to get close to Taehyung, he would just push you away. He wasn't interested in snuggling, feeding or anything that would involve you two getting close, and you still couldn't put a finger on why. You thought he just needed time because of everything that happened, but with each passing day he seems to become more and more distant.

Every night Taehyung stays up in the library, he's been doing research and trying to find out any information that he can, but that means going to bed alone almost every night. You used to try to stay awake until he came in, but eventually you just gave in to falling asleep alone.

No matter how hard you tried to get him to open up, he just seemed to completely shut down. You wanted to find some way to show him that whatever is going on in his head, you are there to support him, but right now it feels like every time you reach out he gets even further away.

You pick up your piece and knock over one of the opposing pawns on the chess board.

"Damn, how did I not see that?" Namjoon takes his hand and runs it through his hair, and you giggle and take the piece off the board.

Being stuck at the base does have it's perks after all, you'd never had someone to play chess against. Mari couldn't care less for time-killing games like these, so the fact that Namjoon was eager to join you made you happy.

You watch the vampire as he carefully studies the setup of the board, your thoughts slowly start to cause your attention to drift. He glances back up and notices your expression, and he can tell your mind isn't completely focused on the game. "Something on your mind, y/n?"

"Hmm?" You snap out of your trance and meet his eyes. Part of you wants to simply brush it off, but you know Namjoon will be able to see through that. You sigh and rest your elbow on the table. "It's Taehyung."

"Mmm." He picks up one of the pieces and slides it across the board. "About the way he's been acting?"

"You've noticed it too?" He nods in response.

"He keeps asking to go out on jobs, even if we don't need him to. It seems like he's trying to keep himself distracted."

"Yeah, he's been so distant, and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to snap him out of it." You take another chess piece and move it over.

"I'm guessing he's being really hard on himself."

"But he shouldn't be. I know he's blaming himself... I just wish there was something I could say to make him understand."

"I think it's a bit more than that." He moves another piece.

"What do you mean?" you ask, and he sighs and meets your gaze.

"We all lose control, y/n. Whether we like to admit it or not, we've all gone mad for blood at one point or another." You nod your head, after all it isn't surprising to hear. "Over time, we become stronger, and learn to fight back those urges. But with Taehyung..." He takes another breath. "I think because he associates losing control to losing his family... it causes him to become overwhelmed. He becomes so afraid of himself and what he'll do, it causes him to lose control more easily."

"So, he loses control more than the rest of you?" He nods.

"And I think he's just frustrated with that."

"Do you think there's anything I can do?" You lower your eyes to the table.

"I think for now, maybe just give him space... I think he'll come around when he's ready."