Again

Chapter 18

Theodore
Ruth is driving me insane. She leaves about 50 voicemails and text messages each day. She needs to realize that it's over. My phone is blowing up on my night stand as I try to sleep. But even it wasn't I wouldn't be able to sleep. Shai called today to tell me about her audition and how amazing it went. And about this kid Ansel. And I say kid because he's only like 19. The jealousy nearly overwhelms me when I realize why I'm so angry. If Shai wants to date some teenager, then that's her decision. Calm down. I take a few breaths to try to calm down. But the jealousy doesn't go away. In fact, it's stays all week. And into the whole month. And it still hasn't gone away when Shai, Ansel (and as I suspected, he's a total asshole) and I go to the premiere. And between the flirting, the sex scene and them nearly in each others laps beside me, I'm about to puke. When the movie ends they act like I don't even exist. The whole ride home, they talk, occasionally asking my opinion, which I answer in one word responses. We drop Ansel off at his hotel and the jealousy subsides. But then Shai starts to talk.
"Wasn't he great? In the movie in the movie, I mean." She smiles. It takes all my will power not to snap at her. "Yeah, amazing." Shai's face drops. She moves next to me and touches my arm. "Are you alright?" She asks scanning my face. "Yes. I'm fine." She sighs and moves back over to the window. We don't speak until we are at her house. She offers a goodbye and I wave lazily. She slams the door. What's wrong with me?
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In the morning, I feel much better. The jealousy has faded to a dull anger. I stretch out in my bed and sigh. I think back to how I felt when we were filming Divergent. I thought Shailene was the hottest little thing to walk the earth. Of course, I didn't have the balls to tell her then. I also remember the time I pulled down her pants during he Ferris wheel scene. I laugh silently to myself. Wait...I remember. I remember! I remember everything. I remember auditioning for Divergent. I remember Shai! I jump out of bed and grab my phone to call her. "It's Shai, leave a message." Ugh.
"Shai, call me as soon as you get this. I have something super important to tell you." I quickly throw on jeans and a shirt and grab my keys in the kitchen. I run out the door and drive to Shai's place. The door is unlocked, but I knock a few times before letting myself in. "Shai? Sorry for barging in, the door was unlocked." I call. I look in the kitchen and living room before going to her room. I hear a slight moan from behind the door. What the hell? I push open the door and what do I find? Ansel and Shai, in bed, naked.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." Shai pushes Ansel off her and yells my name, but I'm already gone. I jog down the stairs and jump in my car before a tear runs down my cheek. I brush it away, angrily. I slam my palms on the steering wheel a couple of times before putting the car in reverse and driving away. When I get home, I unfollow Shai on twitter and delete her contact from my phone. I hate her. I hate her I hate her I hate her. "I hate you, you fucking whore!" I scream. I throw my phone across the living room and it hits the wall and shatters. I pace back and forth. My fingers comb through my hair, over and over again. And then the tears fall. I just cry and cry. And I can't stop.
(A/N awh I actually almost feel bad writing this. *insert evil smile*)
I wipe at my eyes consistently, but the tears continue to fall. Eventually, I just let them. In the distance I hear the doorbell ring. But I can't see anyone right now.
"Theo?" It's Shai. Without even realizing it, I've gotten up and answered the door. I scowl at her. Her face is so sad. Almost sad enough for me to forgive her, almost.
"Theo, I'm so sorry. I don't have feelings for Ansel. All though I don't know why you'd care. It's just, I was feeling down because I thought that you were mad at me and Ansel came over and one thing led to another..." I cross my arms and lean against the doorjamb. "My memory's back." I say quietly. Shai's eyes snap to mine.
"What?" She moves to hug me, but I step back. Her arms drop.
"Do you realize how much you've hurt me? Sleeping with him?" I shake my head and scoff. "Theo, I-" I hold up my hands to silence her. "I can't even look at you," I turn away. But she comes in and closes the door. "Today might have been the best day of my life, but you've ruined that. I love you, Shai. But right now I can't stand to be in the same room as you-" I hear her sob. "-please leave." After a few seconds I hear her walk away and the door slam. I flop onto the couch and groan.
"What the hell is wrong with me!?" I shout. But then I battered phone starts to buzz. I pick it up and squint to read the message. It reads; I love you, too.
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(A/N) when did I get so good at being evil. Oh my. But let's get one thing straight; I do not hate Ansel, but I don't ship or even like Shansel. In fact, I kinda despise it. SHEO ALL THE WAY BABY. Okay, I'm gonna go now. Byye.