Again

Chapter 24

Theo
I guess that's what I get for being a dick. I deserve Shai being cold to me. Before she would call me and leave a message saying how sorry she was. Now she doesn't talk to me at all. She has her agent text me to arrange things. She puts her feelings aside at interviews. But other than that? She doesn't give a second glance. Not that I would want her to. I'm still pretty pissed, myself. But it'd be nice if one of us was trying to do something to try to salvage our relationship. I lay on my bed, yet again, trying to fall asleep. I toss and turn. I count sheep. Nothing works. All I can think about is her. I hear a buzz.

Shai: we need to talk.

My heart soars. But I quickly squash it. It means nothing. I reply.

Theo: k. When and where?

A few minutes later.

Shai: my house. Now.

I jump up and pull on some sweats and a t-shirt. I check the time. It's 1:00 in the morning.
Does that mean she couldn't sleep either? Was she thinking about me? Impossible. She's pissed. I rummage through a drawer and find my favourite grey beanie. I throw it on and walk out the door. In the car, I anxiously tap the steering wheel. I turn on the radio and bob my head to the beat.
When I get to Shai's house, I ring the doorbell once, and she opens the door seconds later. Her jaw length hair is in a messy pony tail. And I notice that she's also wearing sweats.
"Come in." She steps aside and let's me pass. I go straight to the living room and sit down on the couch. My heart is beating out of my chest. She comes and sits opposite of me on a chair. She pulls her knees up and rests her chin on them. I can't but notice how hot she looks. C'mon. Say something!
(A/N SAY SOMETHING IM GIVING UP ON YOU)
I tap my leg, nervously. An awkward silence settle between us like a think blanket. It is scratchy and uncomfortable.
"Listen, Theo. I don't like this." Shai finally says.
"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you called me over here to yell at me some more." I laugh. Shai does not. She focuses on the floor.
"I can't stay mad at you, anymore. It's killing me. So I think it's time to forgive and forget." She glances at me. I smile, wide.
"Oh, Shai I'm so glad you said that, everything can go back to the way it was and-" her head snaps up. "I'm not saying that we can be together Theo. In a relationship or friendship. You said it yourself, we can't be friends when we love each other. I just thought it was better to not go to bed angry, ya know? I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise." She stands and goes to the kitchen. I follow.
"So your saying...we can't be in a relationship, friendship or even talk anymore?" I lean my hip against the counter. What the hell is going on?
"I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be." She steps towards me. "Because right now? All I can think about-" She runs a hand down my chest. "Is kissing you. And touching you." She stands on her tips toe and brushes her lips against my ear. I stiffen.
"And we can't have that, can we?" She whispers.
"No, I guess not." My voice is husky and low. I take her head in my hands and stare at her. She stares back. A tear makes it's way down her face. I brush it away with my thumb. "I'll miss you." She chokes out. I swallow the lump in my throat.
"I'll miss you, too." I pull her against me and squeeze. She pulls back a few moments later. I brush back some of her hair and sigh.
"I want to kiss you so bad right now." I say.
She swallows. "Why don't you?" She stares at my lips.
"Because I'm afraid I won't stop at that." I pull away completely and start towards the door. I take one look back at her. She smiles through the tears now running down her face. "Goodbye, Shailene." I say, instead of I love you.
"Goodbye, Theodore." And I know that she means I love you too.

(A/N) is it wrong that I love messing with your emotions? No? Okay good. Sorry about the short chapter oops byeeeee.