I hate you

6

Subway murders

Arthur's pov

Today at work, I looked terrible. I couldn't get the dream out of my head. My eyes were red from crying almost all night and I was going crazy because everything I thought about was the fucking Joker. I'm starting to hate him.

I hate him.

But luckily I didn't have to entertain any kids or family today, because guess what, I got fired. I was mad enough today, so I decided to take a subway on the way home, it was more expensive but faster. I needed my meds. I needed time alone. I needed to get him out of my head. Why was he doing this to me? I only met him twice! I hate him so much!
____

Apparently, this didn't go well. I can't believe I killed those three guys in subway with me!

I panickedly ran to the public bathroom, shaking.

It's not my fault.

It's not my fault.

I can't take anymore abuse.

It's not my fault.

I wanted to cry and run away. I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to hide, I wasn't mad anymore, I was sad and disappointed in myself. In what have I become. This was too much adrenaline for me. I don't want to be mean. But seems like I have to. I don't have a choice. Nobody will ever accept me. I will always be the odd one. I felt empty. I didn't care anymore.

I calmed myself down really quickly.

I've got nothing to lose.

Raising my leg to the other side, I slowly swung myself into a dance position, and started a slow dance, full of emotions. Dancing is helping me express my feelings.

I finished, looking at myself in the mirror. I felt I was getting mad again. What now? I wanna scream, I wanna scream so bad. I want someone who will listen to my screaming. I want someone who will look into my eyes and say that we aren't crazy. That we didn't do anything bad. Someone to say 'I am proud of you. And I've got your back, no matter what.' God. I wish my mother was different. I wish for so many things to be different.

Tears started streaming down my face fast and I started laughing. Loudly. Just laughing. I fell down to the dirty floor, pushing my knees to my chest, sitting there for some minutes.When my uncontrollable laugher stopped and I could again control my actions, I started screaming. I felt like I wasn't even conscious anymore. Threw the emotions. The feelings. The adrenaline. The loneliness. The society that made me do this. I wanted to be a nice guy. I didn't want this. I didn't want this.

Jack's pov

I walked from the subway train, getting curious because I heard gunshots. I held my scarf, so it wouldn't fall down and approached one of the cops.

“Excuse me. What's going on?”

“Were you in the subway?” The detective frowned at me.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I heard gunshots.”

“Three young men were killed.”

I looked behind him, seeing one of the guys on a stairs. Hm. This seemed like a self defense. I sensed it almost immediately.

“What a pity.” I said and walked around the dead body, going up the stairs, leaving the cops looking at me. I was in the subway so they can't arrest me anyways.

Walking threw this city in the evening felt weird, considering the fact that there was no one to see. Everyone were now at the crime scene place, wondering about the murders.

Then I heard screams, very, very painful screams. They weren't for help, they were just full of pain. And I recognized the voice. Don't tell me it was that guy I 'assaulted' yesterday.

I went to the sound of scream, and came to a public bathroom. Looking through a door hole, I found out It was really him. When I saw the state he was in, I immediately remembered my first murders. My reaction to them was almost the same. His face was wet from tears he's cried, his clown makeup was washing away, and his nose was bleeding. He looked hurt, mentally and physically. Both.

So, it was him. He killed them in self defense.

I felt bad for him. Don't think I don't have feelings, I can act perfectly like I don't care. Should I comfort him now? No that's not. No, I should not. Don't be nice to him. He doesn't have to be as innocent as he looks like. But honestly, I was interested in him. At the first sight, he seemed like complicated person, who would understand my problems and I would understand his.

Suddenly, my heart started beating fast as a decision came up to my head.

Should I go in or not?

I don't even know what to say. The first time we talked to each other was me assaulting him. He could have forgotten me by now. Damn it. I'm too much of a coward for this.

I grabbed my bag and left right at the time, when he seemed to be calming down.

At least I know he calmed down.