I hate you

13

Fight

Jack's pov

“Excuse me, you're the one who didn't want me to leave. Can I go now, hm?” Arthur said. Damn, he's a pretty good one at provoking me.

“Stop it. You'll stay here.” I commanded him, I'm getting angry.

“I can go anywhere I want!”

“No, you'll Fucking stay here! I'm right back. Don't piss me off.” I snapped at him, raising my voice.

He backed away a bit, seemingly scared. Shit, I didn't want to scream. I know I sound scary when I scream but, whatever, I left, and I had nowhere to go. I just needed to get out of here and think.

I was never rejected, that's true. This is exactly it, what's Arthur doing to me. I want to treat him good. But I don't know how. Do I really have to stress out over a stupid relationship?! I have more things to worry about right now.

I sat down beside the door, ripping my hair off. Fuck. Fuck! I should have just shut up! I should have never met him!

Arthur's pov

When Jack raised his voice I was kind of scared. It felt like he was mad at me for everything I've said. I felt guilty.

He slammed the door and the crybaby I am, I started sobbing. I didn't want this. I didn't want to fight, but he literally seemed like he'd lock me up in there. Then my uncontrollable laugher added, and I covered my mouth, waiting for it to end.

And I cried. Those feelings are.. I don't want to lose them. I feel it only with Jack but he's so stubborn! He's stupid and he's surely not that kind of guy who'll just be, oh, ok let's have a beautiful relationship.

Why did my heart have to chose such an asshole.

I sobbed, and put my head to my knees. I hate him, but I love him. Get it?

You know what... I'm.. I'm leaving. I'll leave.

My tears dropped everywhere as I picked up my things shakily and slowly opened the door only to find Jack sitting beside them.

“Where-Where are you going? Are you really leaving?” He stood up, I heard desperation in his voice.

He didn't try to stop me violently. He'd never do that. He just didn't want me to leave.

I took a deep breath. “I'm not what you want, Jack. I'm not someone who will obey everything you say.” I rubbed my tear. “Thank you for saving me.” I whispered and looked at him one last time. Getting on my tippy toes, I placed a soft kiss on his lips, that made me shiver.

This small kiss meant everything to me at that moment. He didn't pull away, he was just frozen.

“Goodbye.”

I turned around, and started walking away. Jack's face when I left was shocked and frightened. He was definitely frozen. But why? And Am I really gonna return to my old life? The poor shitty life full of abuse? Full of pain and pills? With no friends, no lover.. Nothing? Why is there suddenly so much questions? Why do I feel lost already without Jack?

Fucking feelings! I never knew it's so hard to leave from someone! But he said that we're not a thing. What's the point of staying with him then? Am I overthinking??

I looked around the street, no one is outside. I'm alone again. One last step, Arthur.

One.. Last... Step.

Oh fuck it. Did you really think I'm going to listen to my brain, when my heart is and always was too big?

I turned around and began running back to the apartments. I can't do this. No matter what I'll do or think as I said I'll always come running back to him. Besides, even though he's an asshole, I need him. As I said before, I failed, and I've fallen for him. What can I do? Walk away because he's stupid? I can't. My heart can't.

What I saw scared me, I saw a tear running down Jack's face. He was seriously confused. I felt so bad for him. When I saw him, I didn't stop walking, I just ran straight to him and hugged him.

“Oh god!” Jack pulled away from the hug and grabbed my cheek, pulling me into a kiss, then looking at me again. “I'm sorry, Arthur, please forgive me.”

I sobbed. “It's okay. It's okay, Jack.”
we kissed again, those kisses were desperate, quick and full of fear.

“You're so stupid, Arthur!”

“I know, I know.. I know..”

We kissed again and this time it ended with a hug. He wrapped my arms around his neck, I didn't hesitate to hug him back.

Well, this fight didn't last long. Are we really this needy for each other? Is it a bad thing?

“You're an asshole.” I mumbled into his chest through the hug we still shared.

I didn't hear any answer from him, I felt he picked me up, and carried me back to the apartment. I just held him. I just held him, tightly.