It all went downhill (boyxboy)

Part 7- GET OFF OF ME

Benji's POV

I was just about to walk out of his house but then he turned me around, connected our lips, and kissed me. I didn't see it coming at all. I didn't even know he thought of me in that way. I was shocked for a bit and then I started to enjoy it. I gave in and moved my lips along with his. My hands stayed to my sides cause I didn't know what to do with them. I've kissed people before but they were all girls, plus I didn't like them as much as I liked Zero. I didn't want to ruin anything. But then it was dawned upon me, the only reason he's doing this is that he wants me to not tell anyone, right? He never showed any signs that he liked me or anything so kissing me must be one of his acts of desperation. I snapped out of it and pushed him, making sure not to hit any of his bruises I aimed for his shoulder.

"You really don't want me to tell so badly that you kiss me!" I practically yelled. "I actually like you Zero but I know you just did that so I won't tell. That's fucked up dude...don't worry about it I won't tell anyone but if it happens again don't say I didn't warn you!" I blurted out without thinking. I turned around went to his living room grabbed my book bag and then headed for his door, all without looking back at him. I walked to my house which took at least an hour. I thought of everything that just happened. His stepfather is abusing him and he's too blinded by what he perceived as love to do anything about it. He kissed me and...Oh my gosh, he kissed me. He kissed me and I pushed him away. He kissed me and I told him I liked him and it was fucked up for him to kiss me just to keep me silent. I spoke out of emotion and I don't truly know that he doesn't like me. Maybe he does. Maybe he likes me as much as I like him. Or maybe I was right and he did only kiss me as his last hope. His last option and the only way to protect his abusive stepfather.

I'm filled with stress. I know that I said I wasn't going to tell anyone but my gut is telling me to. I have this unshakable feeling that something bad is going to happen to Zero again. These past few months have been really hard on him and I don't want anything more to happen to him. I want to protect him but he obviously doesn't want me to. His entire demeanor has changed completely, as expected, but he's gotten way less confident and way more insecure. He's been blaming everything on himself even if it's not his fault. Seeing him like this today really confirmed it and it's scaring me. People like that always let people walk all over them. They blame themselves for the wrongful doings of others and keep themselves in their own personal prisons. I don't want that to happen to Zero but it seems like it already has, but am only human. I can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.

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Zero's POV

He pushed me. He pushed me. Why did I kiss him? I'm so stupid, no wonder why no one loves me. "You really don't want me to tell so badly that you kiss me!" He said as he raised his voice. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, he hates me. "I actually like you Zero but I know you just did that so I won't tell. That's fucked up dude...don't worry about it I won't tell anyone but if it happens again don't say I didn't warn you!" He said as if he was emotionally pained. He went to get his book bag and then he left without saying another word. My eyes tear up once more, which was no surprise cause lately all I do is cry. He hates me, he hates me, he hates me, I thought to myself. Wait but what did he mean when he said he actually likes me. Does he mean like the way I do or just as a friend? He did kiss me back, but he also pushed me back. Besides even if he did like me he doesn't anymore after everything that just happened.

At least he won't tell anybody, I thought to myself trying to find a plus in this situation. I went upstairs to my room not having any more reasons for staying downstairs. I'm still in pain but the mental and emotional pain I'm feeling makes it seem like it's nothing. I gently tried laying on my bed but a few Painfilled moans escaped my mouth. I closed my eyes trying to make myself sleep since I barely got any sleep last night, but also just don't want to think about my life anymore. I know that sleeping is the only way I could solve that problem for now. It took me about an hour and a few cries before I actually fell into sleep. At ease and with nothing to think of as my brain finally gets a break, then all of a sudden I started to gain back consciousness as I felt a hand roaming around in my boxers.

I quickly opened my eyes to see nothing but pitch blackness. I still felt rummaging in my pants so I quickly jumped off my bed but tripped on my blankets and slamming my head on the floor. I shrieked in immense pain as not only does my head hurt but the bruises on my ribs and stomach were still present and contributing to the Undescribable pain I was feeling. Someone sat on top of me and it felt like a hippo sitting on a malnourished baby goat. "GET OFF OF ME!?" I screamed as I tried to wiggle my way out, but couldn't because I'm aching everywhere and I've also barely eaten much in months so I've lost a tremendous amount of weight and strength. The person leaned forward covered my mouth with their big hands and whispered in my ears, "Shhh stop yelling, I just want to have a little fun." The person's breath reeked of alcohol and sounded like...NO, it can't be him. My own stepdad can't be...! My heart began to race faster than sonic speed. He pulled my pants down as I heard him unzipping his own. I continued trying to wiggle my way out but he was just too heavy. I even stopped being able to feel my legs cause he was sitting on them. He leaned forward and whispered in my ears once more, "Don't you worry mama's boy, I'm not gonna put it in handsome. I'm just going to rub it on your ass a little to help your daddy release a bit of stress, okay." He jabbered on. After a few seconds, I started to feel my own stepdad's penis rubbing on my ass. I started pleading for him to stop but I think that turned him on more cause every time I did he started going faster.

After a few minutes of him grinding on me, he released his man juice all over my back. He then kissed the back of my head, got off of me, and walked out of my room leaving me lying helplessly on the floor. I felt like I could see myself in the third person just looking so pathetic and weak lying there. Even though I physically did try to fight him off and was just too weak and already felt agony all over my body I still felt like I could have done more. I was still in shock so my face was still dry. I couldn't even produce tears. Shit, I even think that I've cried so much lately that whatever part of the brain that controls tears is on a strike. After a bit of laying on the floor, I mustered up enough strength to pick my trembling body off the floor and walk into my bathroom where I turned on the lights. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't even recognize the person staring back. I've had to have lost at least 30 pounds since the accident. My bone structure is more prominent and not in a good way. I look like the skeleton from the nightmare before Christmas. My eyes were red and puffy with dark circles around them. I even had a new lump on my forehead from that fall I just got. My skin looked dry and gray, probably because of the lack of nutrition and water I haven't been consuming.

After about 30 minutes of just analyzing myself in the mirror, I finally detached myself from starting any longer as I looked for tissue to wipe the stuff that man left on my back. It's partly dried now so I had to dip the tissue in water to get rid of it completely. I wanted to take a shower more than ever but my torso was still hurting way too badly to be able to do that. After I was done wiping the semen off my back, I just sat on the bathroom floor thinking about how fucked my life has gotten. How my once loving stepdad has become an alcoholic, abusive, man that jacks off and rubs his junk on the back of his stepson. "HOW COULD HE DO THAT!? HE'S SO FUCKING SICK!!!" I burst to myself. I started crying, again. I smacked myself and cried out, "Stop crying you weak bitch. You so pathetic, you deserve this.", but I couldn't stop crying making me angrier at myself. I was in too much physical and mental pain. I just wanted to die. I wanted to be like my mom and Zoe. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. For it to all end. To not have to worry about not pissing off my stepdad so he doesn't hit me, or if Benji likes me, or if I should cover up a bruise so that my teachers don't ask about it, or to remember to smile so people don't ask if I'm okay. Of course, I'm not okay. My life is going down a shit hole, but I can't tell them that cause then they're just going to tell me that it gets better but it doesn't. It gets worse, and I'm living fucking proof of that.

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Authors note

Another serious chapter per usual. This chapter contained sexual assault which is a very serious topic and it happens to many people. If you're being sexually assaulted speak up and seek help.

The National sexual assault hotline for America is 1-800-656-4673.

Ps. Do y'all wants some drugs. I got a lot. I'm just kidding🤫👀