It all went downhill (boyxboy)

Part 14- Countdown

Zero's POV

The count down to the funeral is getting smaller and smaller. Three days until I have to see my mother and little sister get put six feet deep. I'm trying to distract myself so that I don't cry my brain out.

I've been hanging out with people every day. Last weekend I went to the skate park with Benji and some of our other skating friends. I haven't been skateboarding in a while because I haven't been in the mood lately but even though I was excited to go skating for the first time in a while it still didn't feel as good as it used to.

Nothing ever really feels as good as it used to. Even when I'm distracted my heart is still coated in black paint leaving me feeling hopeless and lonely. I can be in a room filled with people and still feel isolated. I still have Benji but he doesn't fully understand what I'm going through. Even I don't understand what I'm going through.

It's currently Thursday before school and I'm walking down the stairs because I'm ready for school. Theirs a door right by the steps that leads into the office that my parents share, well used to share. It's not much in there but a desk, desktops, office chair, printer, and a whole lot of clutter. My mom used to spend a lot of time in there because that's where she did her work. She was a stay-at-home working mom. She uses to go to work but after she gave birth to Zoe she decided that she wants to spend a much time with her until it's time for Zoe to start kindergarten.

I decided to go in there but was met with a surprise when I saw my stepdad sleeping on a pile of paper. When I came back home yesterday he was in this office making phone calls. I didn't really pay much mind to it especially since I was still intoxicated but now that I see that he's still in here with the same clothes on I realize that he hasn't moved since last night.

"Dad, wake up," I said as I shook his shoulders in an attempt to pull him out of his sleeping state. He groans as he sits up stretching his back. I can hear his bones cracking from the uncomfortable position he must've been sleeping at all night.

"Did I fall asleep?." He asked with a raspy and deep morning voice.

"I guess, you tell me." I replied as he looked around trying to gain back consciousness. "You've been here since last night what have you been doing?"

"Nothing, just trying to do some last-minute stuff for the...umm-you know." I could tell that he was going to say funeral but it was as if he was trying to avoid using that word. As if not saying it would make the whole situation disappear.

"Yea...umm I gotta go to school."

"Yeah, yeah of course. See you later, and hey, don't come home late again like you did last night." I may or may not have gotten home at midnight yesterday even though it was a school night. Usually, I wouldn't have gotten away with that but he seems to be distracted with other things so lucky me.

I went to a college party with some friends yesterday, not Benji or Alex because I didn't even ask them, I doubt that they would have gone to a party on a school night. The closeness of the funeral was making my mind more clouded with pitiful thoughts and self-hatred. I felt like if I didn't do something I was going to explode. A voice in my head constantly reminding me that it's all my fault. I was the cause of all this Mayhem. I didn't know what else to do so I did the only thing I knew how, distract myself and ignore my problems. I drunk enough to make myself feel more relaxed. To make myself forget.

As I walked out of my house I noticed that my car wasn't there. The memories of last night came flooding back as I recall the events of it all. I was too drunk to drive so I left my car at the party.

Fuck.

How I'm I suppose to get to school now. I would call an Uber but I'm broke, and I don't want to ask my dad cause he already seems stress.