It all went downhill (boyxboy)

Part 25- THE END (Part 2)

Zero's POV

It's dark. Everything is so dark.

And I'm cold. Why is it so cold?

What is that beeping sound?

I'm I dead? Is this death?

I felt something warm cover me and my eyes flew open. Well more like slowly fluttered open but that was because the light was so bright and white it felt almost blinding,

Is this heaven.

Before I could see any sign of angels or clouds or whatever symbolizes heaven, I instead saw an elder woman, with a blue scrub? Wait where are her wings and why does she have a stethoscope.

"Hi honey, are you okay." The darker-skinned woman spoke.

What the fuck! Is this a hospital?

"Where am I?" I almost yelled out. Please don't tell me I made it.

"You at a hospital sweetheart. Your one lucky boy." She answered as she checked the IV.

Fuck! Another thing I fucked up!

But how did I get here? The last time I was conscious I was withering away on my bathroom floor.

"Do you know how I got here?" I was curious I had to know.

"I'm not sure baby, but I can ask around if you want."

"Okay." She smiled at me before she walked out.

No, why?!

Why did I have to survive?

I just wanted it to be over, why did I have to fail this too?

As I thought more about my failed attempt, anger started to flair in me.

Why does the universe keep fucking me over?

This is the last thing I want, to survive and have to deal with the hospital with all these prying doctors. I'll probably get sent to a psych ward once they find out that this was an attempt.

My eyes felt heavy. The IV is making me really sleepy, but I don't want to sleep. Well, I do, but forever.

I couldn't fight the battle between consciousness and unconsciousness because just like that I was knocked out, and just like that my brain decided to be ever so kind and give me a recap of my shitty, and I mean shitty, life. Thank you brain.

I mean the dream, well nightmare, was a horrifyingly depressing mix of all the thoughts and feelings of things that I desperately wish I could erase from ever existing.

It hurts to know that I forgot my mom's birthday. I feel sad and angry at myself. I wonder if she would be mad that I forgot and I wonder if she still even loves me.

I think she might hate me and I don't know why but I just feel like everyone hates me, and will always hate me.

And I'm angry at Benji for not being here with me right now. I've never needed him more in my life, and he's been with me through everything, everything until this.

I feel so lonely, and I'm mad at myself for not getting better, not wanting to get better. I just want to stop existing, I don't have the energy to get better.

And it feels like he's in the room with me. I hate that sick man. I feel like he's in here, touching me and... I just wish I wasn't in this hospital. I wish they got to me too late, and I can't help but plan my next time. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but it has to work.

There's nothing left for me here and that's fine.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped up. Instantly regretting it by the massive pain I felt all over my aching body.