Desire ; Remus Lupin

𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑃 𝑇𝐸𝑅 32

- LOVESICK TRAGEDY 

Sana's pov

I was back at Hogwarts and in an absolute state of panic. It's been less than 24 hours since I kissed Remus and I already made promises I'm not even sure I could keep. 

One of them was promising to keep him safe, which I will give my everything to make happen. The second one was to never leave him, and I would never plan on doing such thing but with the state of things the possibility of us losing each other is fairly larger than it has ever been.

The thought of it alone was enough to make my heart ache. 

So this brings me to pace around the halls desperately looking for someone to talk to. Hermione was out with Weasley and Potter, Madi was hanging around with Blaise, and who on earth knows where Draco is.

Might as well pop over at Sirius' house, this time looking for him and not Remus. 

That's when a red-headed witch stops me. "Rose, hey. I'm kind of in a rush right now, I actually have somewhere to go." 

"You're not going to see that boyfriend of yours, are you?" 

"He's not my boyfriend." 

"Spare me the details, Sana." She scoffs, "You're well too smart to know damn well what he is to you." 

She's right on that one. 

"I don't want to argue with you, much less take away your happiness with him." She states sadly, looking at me with what appears to be a look of forgiveness "But your relationship is putting us me, bekah and ben in danger. Therefore we will be moving back with dad, I wish you the best of luck though." 

She smiles, and I can almost see right through her. Rose was not the 'apologetic' type, yet something in her changed this year and I'm actually glad I could be the first to take it in. 

"Take care of yourself, will you? Don't let anything happen to you." She cooed, placing a soft hand on my shoulder and squeezing it lightly. "I won't. I promise." 

"Good. I'll see you around." 

One final hug and she's gone. Something tells me she's one of many that I won't be seeing again, but it was far too early to think about this. 

I definitely wasn't ready for that kind of change. 

***

I knocked on Sirius' door impatiently. We weren't allowed out of Hogwarts past 6pm on weekdays, and well, it was exactly 6pm. 

The door opens, but it wasn't exactly the face I was hoping to see tonight. 

"What are you doing here this late, shouldn't you be studying or something?" My mother scolded, but amusement was evident in her tone. "Busteeeeed." Sirius calls from inside, a bottle of who knows what in his hand.

"Wow Pads, you really outdid yourself on the homeless look today." I winked, making my way past my mom and stretching myself out on the silky material of their couch. 

"I'm pretty sure you barging into my house makes you the homeless looking one." 

"Piss off." I groan and throw the nearest pillow next to me at his face. 

I missed. It hit his bottle instead, the sound of it crashing onto the ground made him stumble ten feet backwards. His reaction was priceless. "You little shit." He chuckles, hitting me with the same pillow I did before. 

I scoff, jumping on the rim of the couch and attacking him from a much higher angle, the impact made him fall to ground in loud fits of laughter. 

Still standing on the rim, I threw a couple more pillows on his very exhausted face. "I'm telling you, that minx was always the best at pillow fights." My mum laughs, both of us enjoying the amusing sight of Sirius laying defeated on the ground. 

"Now what the hell is so important to wake me from my extremely necessary and precious nap." A fourth voice comes from the stairs, along with loud footsteps. 

Sirius grunts. "Oh nothing, just the fact you choose the one person who can beat me on a pillow fight and it's pissing me the fuck off!" 

Remus laughs, "Anyone can beat you on a pillow fight mate." 

Sirius gets up slowly, propping himself on a small table behind us. "Not true Moony, you know that yourself." 

"It was one time! You won once." Remus chuckles, sitting himself down beside Sirius and nipping him on the side. 

I don't think he even fully acknowledged my presence, which is great actually. I love to see him happy, the sound of his laughter is so blissful I could quite literally breathe it in and make it my source of oxygen. 

"You're not great at it either, I must admit." I smirk, nodding my head towards Remus and watch as he feigns offence. "I beg to differ."

"You know I'm right." 

"I'm not sure you are. Remember that one time in your dorm, I probably ripped your pillow in half." 

I scoffed. "Okay that does not count, I was exhausted!" 

"You bet you were." Remus smirked, and I tried my best not to laugh. 

Sirius gave us a disgusted look. He reached for my mom's arm and pulled her out of the room. "I get emotionally scarred every time I talk to them!" I hear his voice fade down the hallway. 

This left me and Remus alone. 

Us and my thoughts.  

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I hum, taking Sirius' now empty seat beside Remus. He looked up at me with such pure and longing eyes I could melt into his hands. 

"Good actually. Took a break on the drinking, feels good. I feel fresh." He smirks, patting down his blouse. 

Something about him was different today. He looked extremely attractive. He was wearing a dark red blouse, his three top buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up just above his wrists. His beige slacks just the perfect amount of loose, and his his hair so beautifully messy I would die to run my hand through it. 

"Quit staring love, it's creepy." He chuckles more to himself than to me. "Oh shut up."

"I'm kidding." He grins. "Dumbledore will kill me if he sees that you were out of the castle tonight." Remus smirks and turns to face me.

"Why would you be responsible?" 

"Because" He leans in and turns my face away and inching towards my ear "I'm going to be the one keeping you up all night." He whispers, sending shivers all the way down my spine. 

Those words were like poison dripping off his lips, they had me so intoxicated and so hypnotised. I don't think I ever wish to wake up from his trance. 

We were inches apart, so close I think it was impossible to deny the growing tension between us.  I wanted nothing more than him in this moment.

He runs his thumb across my lip, dragging it down and flicking it back up. "Let me get lost in you darling." He mumbles so softly I can barely hear him yet his words are so perfectly clear.

And I don't even care anymore, he has me so high over him I would completely break at one touch.

He's most definitely aware of it because I'm suddenly on his lap and I have no idea how I got there in the first place. I haven't said a word for ages, I don't feel the necessity too. 

And the consequences run through my head constantly, but my need is much to big to put them in any sort of consideration. 

I need him, and I need him urgently.