paracosm-delusional nightmares

{view}

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everywhere around me
i see green.
not red or pink or black,
but green so beautiful and thick
that it keeps bringing me back to it.

it's the kind of green
that has all kinds of feels-
grass,
sunflowers,
trees,
and mobile towers.

i see all of that so faraway
yet i feel at home here.
my stomach hurts from this car ride and no one knows
yet i feel like i'm not alone.

can't believe it's already february,
didn't think i would make it to march,
but then i saw this,
and it gave me pure bliss.

sick and tired of the city,
wanted to come to someplace like this,
didn't want to leave my house,
but i wanted to feel this bliss.

i see some bare land,
wanting to fill it
with nothing else
other than green.

i've never loved green,
never wanted to get close to it,
yet
now that i'm so far away from it,
i want to go there,
and lie down freely,
in that green.

oh! i see those tall buildings,
oh! i see some people,
yet none of them can bring me as much peace,
as that big and vast green.

i've never lived in that green,
never been good enough to do something worthwhile like stay there,
yet
i feel like i'm capable to do anything
when i'm in this wonderful green.

with its faraway hazy fog,
with so many trees,
with the shrubs,
with the small huts,
with the small 'oceans',
with the small schools,
with the sand dunes,
with the black cows,
the birds,
and the sunlight falling on my face,
so bare,
so exposed,
that my skin feels like
it's holding so many secrets
all at once.

the sky's beautiful as well,
but isn't it cliche to
compliment it so much
that it just ruins my mood?

so,
i'll keep thinking and writing about the green
even though nothing comes to mind,
because whenever i look outside
all i see is that shade of green lime.

i see the signboards,
telling me where i am
and how long to go,
forcing me to think,
that soon this ride is going to end.

but
i don't want this to end,
i want to keep writing,
i want to keep travelling,
because this green never ends, does it?
and it will never be good enough for me
to not keep coming back to it.

and when i'll be here,
after so many years and decades,
i'll still feel
like i'm at the top of the world,
and nothing will rhyme
like this poem,
because there will be so many flaws,
yet these fields will never make me feel alone.

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-about-

written: february 21, 2021

I wrote this poem back in late February 2021, when I was going to my aunt's house. If you've not noticed, I wrote many poems on the way, and I'll include them all here. This was basically what I was seeing from the window in the car, and I really like this because it's very real to me. I also like this because is one of the very few non-fictional poems I've written.
P.S. this is also one of my favourites because this poem really gave me the confidence to write more.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people!! do vote and comment if you liked it-

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