paracosm-delusional nightmares

{evermore}

-slight trigger warning-

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I woke up the other day
with a pool of blood around me,
her voice told me she couldn't stay
so I just closed my eyes and breathed a long breath.

I woke up again,
in the middle of the night,
the blood sticking to my shirt,
and someone whining on my side.

there he was,
looking at me with pleading eyes,
telling me to help him,
to let him suffice.

but I didn't help him,
I didn't wake up,
because I knew it was a dream.

But then the bird chirped.

I realized that it was the reality,
which took me back to those days
that made me believe,
that I wasn't the person who everyone believes me to be.

let me tell you about a time,
when that happened,
it feels like yesterday,
when I got that feeling again.

yesterday,
I saw her cry,
telling me that nobody understood her,
but I swear I tried,
to make her understand that I was with her.
but she wouldn't listen,
why would she?
when even in the night,
she dreamed about him in her sleep?

yesterday,
I cried myself to sleep,
she didn't even blink,
she didn't want to know,
the suicidal thoughts that I used to think.

but then something happened,
and everything changed,
she became nice,
but good things never last,
and tomorrow just came.

because tomorrow,
I'll wake up to see her face,
crying to wake me up,
crying because she couldn't save me,
crying because she lost her luck.

tomorrow,
everything will be fine,
for me and for her and for everyone,
because she'll go back to him,
and won't spend a minute thinking about her daughter.

tomorrow,
I'll call her again,
to tell her I'm sorry,
to tell her that it was actually him
who killed me.

tomorrow,
she'll not believe me,
she'll just blink those eyes,
and with tears in her eyes,
she'll let him live and suffice.

tomorrow,
everything will change,
from me to her to our whole family,
because when they see me lying there,
they'll not understand my misery.

tomorrow,
they'll look in my eyes,
and break down like that waterfall,
the one we saw flowing down,
but knew that it wasn't meant to be there at all.

tomorrow,
everything will seem like yesterday,
when she told me she'll stay,
but of course, she didn't,
because even though she's my mother,
she will always hate my ways.

tomorrow,
I'll lose this heart,
Which was already a black hole at the start,
And became more so
By the time I became more and more alone.

lastly,
I just want to say
that this has happened before,
because even though I lost my life,
I found my happiness for evermore.

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-about-

written: february 16, 2021

This poem is probably the only poem that makes me emotional, apart from Marcid. I wrote this poem back in February.
I showed it to a few people and they said that it was a bit over-dramatic. Do you guys think so too?

The self-referring pronouns here do NOT refer to *me*.
The 'tomorrow' concept wasn't mine, credits to AccioIssy (one of my favourite poets) for inspiring me.

If I can, I'll write two more parts to this poem, with a few other perspectives. I have written one already, and the words are more or less the same, but it's from a different point of view. It's the second part of Evermore.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people!! do vote and comment if you liked it-

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