paracosm-delusional nightmares

{folklore}

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And suddenly,

Everything broke.
She left,
But didn't come back.

Told her I would stay,
But I couldn't,
Such a joke
To her heart and its surrounding black holes.

It took me back to the moment,
A dream,
Which seems like yesterday.

I was walking down the aisle,
Hand-in-hand with my father,
No happiness was visible on my face
like a liar.

Then I woke up,
Feeling numb,
I got up,
Saw her,
She shouted at me,
I ignored her,
And went back to sleep.

I woke up again,
I was forced to,
Luckily, no one was around,
To disturb me now.

I was unhappy,
All-day,
All night,
And felt like dying
All the time.

But I had some happiness,
Through him,
And though he wasn't likeable,
He was everything in my eyes.

I loved him dearly,
Even told him so,
But good things never last,
And the future just came in like a river's fast flow.

She knew about him,
She knew how I used to dream
About him all day,
But even if she knew everything,
she didn't ever say.

Then one day,
The worst began-
"You're still with him, aren't you?"
"Stop lying to me, I know it all."
"I don't consider you my mother anymore."
"You're dead to me."

This is all I used to hear,
Crying myself to sleep every night,
And ignoring her cries of help beside me.

I ignored her,
Like I always did,
Not knowing about the suicidal thoughts
She used to think.

But one day,
Everything stopped.
She didn't talk,
Refused to look at me,
I expected her to say
Something that would make me know
What was going on in her mind
That day.

"That day."

It now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth,
It won't leave me alone,
Haunt me for all of my life
In this broken home.

And it still seems like yesterday,
When I was walking down the aisle,
Not knowing what the future would hold
And how it would turn me into a terrible liar.

Because it all depends on tomorrow
A tomorrow I never got
Because now I am living in the worst today,
And trust me,
It hurts a lot.

Because tomorrow,
She won't wake up to see my face,
How I will be crying to wake her up,
Crying because I wouldn't be able to save her,
Crying because, at last, I will lose my luck.

Tomorrow,
Everything will break,
From me to her to everyone,
Because even though I'll go back to him,
I will spend each and every minute thinking about my daughter.

Tomorrow,
Even though I'll feel her everywhere,
Feel her tracing my steps,
I'll still not turn back,
Because by then it will be worthless to even keep a foot out of my doorstep.

Tomorrow,
I'll hear her say,
"The person who killed me
Is the person you love more and more Every day."

Tomorrow,
I'll not believe her,
I'll just blink my eyes,
And with tears threatening to come out,
I'll let 'him' live and suffice.

Tomorrow,
I'll see her lying there,
Crying for her to come back,
To just open her eyes one more time.

Tomorrow,
Everyone will look into her eyes,
And break down like a waterfall,
But I'll just blankly stand there
And realise that the waterfall wasn't meant to be there at all.

Tomorrow,
Everything will seem like yesterday,
When I walked down the aisle,
With the sadness seething my face
And still not getting a say.

Because tomorrow,
I'll see her face
For the last time,
And my face will show sadness
But I will feel happy inside.

Where did that happiness come from?
Why wasn't it there from the start?
But it was always there darling,
Just wasn't visible from afar.

And it still feels like a dream,
A dream where I was not happy,
A dream where I couldn't tell anyone that
"I was the liar,
I was the cheat,
I was the idiot,
I was the bully,
But even though they all implored,
They still couldn't get me out of my folklore."

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-about-

written: april 2, 2021

This is Part 2 of Evermore, from another person's perspective. It is kind of directly connected to Evermore, so both are more or less the same.
I suppose there will be more parts, but I don't know, maybe I'll write them, maybe I won't.
I didn't even mean to write a second part, but because the album evermore is kind of connected to folklore, I wanted to write one titled folklore as well. That's how this came about.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people!! do vote and comment if you liked it-

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