paracosm-delusional nightmares

{anti-social}

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don't like being social every now and then,
am i anti-social from within?

don't like
meeting people,
being happy all the time,
being cautious about my words,
not talking to people on my own,
not caring,
am i anti-social then?

it's like everywhere i go
i feel like a burden.
being social is a burden
trusting people is a burden
everything is a burden.
am i anti-social then?

but i talk to people
i swear i do,
i care about them
i love them
i trust them.
am i still anti-social?

i don't know.
but turns out society does.

it gets too much sometimes.
it really does.
because apparently "society"
thinks that i am
anti-social.

yes,
sometimes i don't talk to people,
sometimes i don't care,
sometimes i don't trust people,
sometimes i am cautious about my words.
but this is what happens
when the "society" is supposed to decide your future.

it breaks you,
tears you apart,
until you are left with the very few words
that it describes you with
every single time.

"anti-social"
in my case.

because now,
i have broken apart,
i do not care,
i do not trust people.

but if i do,
what will i get?
just a few words of how i am so social
yet at the end
"you're just anti-social."

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-about-

written: may 20, 2021

Another one of my not-so-rare 'I write what I feel' poems.
I wrote this poem when I was sitting idly and suddenly remembered that one of my relatives had called me 'anti-social' once. Well, maybe I am.
Many people say that introverts need to 'recharge' themselves after interactions with people, and believe it or not, I actually do that too.
That day I had gone out with my family to another house of mine, and so much of interaction in the car made me feel drained, so as soon as we reached the destination, I lay down on the couch and took a nap while listening to some music and writing some poems.
Introvert's showing, people.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people!! do vote and comment if you liked it-

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