paracosm-delusional nightmares

{that one time}

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Gone now
But he will never come back,
Lost now,
But he won't be found and it's all because we lacked
In giving him the love and freedom he deserved.

This is a story
Of that one time,
When I met that little ball of sunshine
But lost him as soon as he became mine.

Woke up one day,
Got ready for school,
Ignored him like I always did,
Not knowing that I'll never again see that face of a fool.

He barked like a lunatic
That day when I left,
But I didn't even stop to look at him
Merely shouting at him for wasting my time.

Took a glimpse of him,
Not knowing that it was going to be the last one,
Saw the people over him,
Shouting at him without thinking about how much he was hurting.

I came back,
A few hours later.
He was peacefully laying down on the floor,
So peacefully
that I couldn't help but think,
'Why have I never seen him like that before?'

I sat next to him,
Wanting to apologize.
Then,
Suddenly,
The time just stopped,
And I realized the visible loss.

He got up and laid his head on my lap.
He didn't.
He wagged his tail and forced time to stop.
He didn't.
He looked at me with those puppy eyes
Begging me to stay with him
For the last time.
He didn't.

Ears ringing
Whose voice?
Surely not mine,
But I can't really lie.
Shouting ferociously,
Calling my mom,
To fix him,
To not let him go,
To try and create a reality,
That can never be created in this home.

"We lost him."
They said.

I shouted,
"No, We haven't.
Bring him back,
That's your job,
Make him alive,
That's what you get the money for."

Hands freezing,
Eyes moist,
Didn't want to believe the reality,
Wanted to drown in my own created lies.

Looked at him,
His eyes closed,
As he slowly whispered,
"Don't worry, you did your best, but you couldn't save me from this inevitable evermore."

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-about-

written: february 20, 2021

So, basically, I wrote this poem for my dog, during the time when I thought that maybe the harsh behaviour on my dog was becoming too much, not abuse, but in my hyper-active imagination (the paracosm doesn't stop existing), it kind of was. We all love him, it's just that his lack of training brought out the harsh behaviour. Also, my dog hasn't passed away, this is all my imagination. (Like I said before, pretty imaginative poems)
This poem also relates to a person and is not limited to an animal. If it reminds you of any person you know, you can comment here. For me, it reminds me of my Grandfather, who passed away due to a disease back in 2017.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people! do vote and comment if you liked it-

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