a/n HEY GUYS THIS STORY IS NOW ON AO3 :)))) its under the same username @dracoblossom
TW: SELF HARM
......................................................................................
we can talk it so good
we can make it so divine
- lorde
......................................................................................
SAPNAP
Trees flashed passed the windows.
The memories were blurred, but they were still there. They were always still there. There to haunt every time he got like this. They attack when he's vulnerable.
His moms scream. The feeling of glass breaking his skin.
It was the same movie everytime. He knew the words, and he was the star.
But somehow it never got any less scary.
You always have to mess shit up.
He slammed his forehead against the steering wheel. He hated the way his face felt all soaked with tears. The blood covered tissue in his hand fell to the floor. He no longer felt like tending to his wound.
The music from the party was now background noise. He could barely hear the pounding bass through his car door.
He cared about you.
The voices in his head nagged on.
You let him down.
"Fuck," he muttered, once again, unable to hold back loose tears.
He glanced to the center console. His breath catching in his throat at the sight of the pocket knife.
It always tempted him. He never understood why he left it sitting out.
He knew he shouldn't do it, that he'd already hurt Karl enough that night. But he'd hurt Karl.
Karl didn't deserve it.
Karl was always so good, and Sapnap was selfish for wanting him. He was selfish for wanting Karl to have to take on all his baggage.
He'd hurt Karl.
It was like the knife was a magnet, pulling Sapnap's hand to it.
......................................................................................
KARL
Karl wasn't asleep, but his eyes were closed. He didn't feel like opening them. He didn't feel like doing anything. He didn't want to process what had happened, at least until tomorrow.
The night's events swam through his mind. In a desperate attempt to block them out he'd taken a melatonin, but it'd been an hour and there were no signs of him being able to fall asleep any time soon.
He knew he should be angry. Both Dream and Sapnap had been complete assholes, and he had every right to be angry. But all he felt was sad. He missed Dream. He missed their friendship and having someone to talk to. The pain of Dream's absence in his life had been temporarily numbed by Sapnap, and now that he was out of the equation everything was hitting Karl all at once.
He wiped away a tear before it ever made it down his cheek, a desperate attempt to erase any evidence it was ever even there.
His clothes clung to his body, sweaty and uncomfortable. Reluctantly, he pulled himself out of his bed. He knew he wouldn't feel fully better until he showered, but in his current mental state that was not an option. He settled for changing, quickly swapping his party clothes for boxers and a tshirt.
YOU ARE READING
MELODRAMA | karlnap
Romance"we told you this was melodrama you wanted something that we offered" -sober 2 (melodrama) by lorde ........................ karlnap college au inspired by the album "melodrama" by lorde also, as i like to call it, an "everyone is g...
