Nature's Lass

(17)

Scarlett returned to the apartment. Lucas stated that he had some work and drove off.

She found Joshua at the kitchen counter with a big, fat book. She tapped the table to gain his attention. "What is this all about?"

"What?" Joshua shrugged.

"Why did you leave home?"

Joshua's eyes hardened, he looked like he was too frustrated. Scarlett felt like shouting at him for leaving and abandoning his pack. He had a huge responsibility for his shoulders.

"Letty, it was never 'home' for me."

Scarlett couldn't believe her ears, what was he speaking about, the forest and the people who had nurtured his eighteen years of life are not his home?

"What the heck are you talking about?" Scarlett paced around the room.

"You don't feel out of place at home. You don't feel pressured at home. You don't feel unworthy at home!" Joshua screamed the last part at Scarlett, with tears brimming his eyes.

Scarlett was shocked at his outburst, she had never seen him that way. There was always something hidden behind those boring eyes. She walked over to Joshua and tried to calm him down. She voiced her concern, "Joe, you are not unworthy. You are one of the most talented people I've ever met. And I don't understand..."

"No matter what I do, I am always less. To see the disappointment in dad's eyes kills me. I don't run fast enough, I do not possess good fighting skills, I tend to forget things a lot, I am not good at conversing and the list goes on. How can I become the alpha if I do not even know when to say what? I just couldn't take it anymore. You see in my absence Zach would be made the alpha and damn he is great. He's the one who deserves the title and not me. If I had stayed behind then people would talk and talk. I don't want to be judged, Letty." A stray tear escaped his eyes and he wiped it with his sleeve.

Concern and sadness swirled in Scarlett's eyes. 

She had never wondered what kind of pressure a to-be-alpha might face. She felt bad that in all these years she had not noticed the conflict her friend was going through. 

She did not know how to reply so Scarlett put her arms around him. Joshua returned the hug and he broke down into tears.

"Shhh, it's all right." Scarlett tightens her embrace.

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