promises, jacob black. (sequel to nicknames)

twenty eight

the baby died. bella died. and a piece of octavia died too.

"everythings going to be okay. everything is going to be fine." jacob was rocking ava in his arms. they were at their own house now, "it's okay baby, we're okay."

but they weren't. everything wasn't going to be okay. everything wasn't going to fine. it wasn't okay. they weren't okay.

after bella had flatlined, the baby died minutes later. carlisle arrived right as the baby died and nobody could resuscitate either bella or the baby.

carlisle tried to explain to octavia it wasn't her fault bella died or the baby. she did everything she could but some cases were lost ones; there was no way bella was making it out alive.

jacob took octavia home at around 4am. he drove with her in his lap because he didn't want to let her go, not even for a second. she looked lifeless and he was afraid if he let her go, that's she'd go too.

and he was prepared to do anything to save her.

now they were in their bed. jacob was holding onto her, rubbing her back and repeating that they were okay. octavia had the same lifeless look on her face.

"i feel dirty." octavia whispered, closing her eyes, "i feel so contaminated."

"do you wanna take another bath?" he asked her, a bit relieved that she had finally said something, "i can wash your hair and braid it up nicely for you."

"that sounds good." she smiled weakly at jacob, slowly removing her shirt. jacob smiled back, kissing her shoulder softly, carrying her to the bath. she sat on the stool in their bathroom as jacob ran the bath.

"it wasn't your fault, you know that right?" jacob said, running the shampoo through ava's scalp, "i don't care what edward says, it was not your fault."

"i know." she said quietly, "it wasn't my fault. the chances of her living was slim to none, i know jacob. i know." she sighed, "it doesn't make me feel better though. how am i supposed to pursue a medical career if i cannot-" she paused, letting jacob wash the shampoo off her hair, "keep a mother and her baby alive?"

"hey, hey." he looked at her, placing his hands on her cheeks and making her face him, "you watch greys don't you?" she nodded, "how many times do we see people lose their patients?" she said nothing, "hm? use your words babe."

she blushed, "a lot."

"and what do the doctors do in response?"

"they bounce back."

"so what will you do?"

"bounce back." she was starting to regain the colour in her face, the pep in her talk.

"exactly." jacob grinned widely, "my beautiful doctor, my beautiful wife, my beautiful ava." he leaned in, kissing her forehead, "i love you."

"i love you more."

jacob hummed as he ran the conditioner through ava's hair. he winked at her and blew kisses whenever he caught her eyes so the smile on her face wasn't replaced by the frown of her worries.

when he finished her hair, she unplugged the bath and wrapped herself with a towel. he cleaned up the bath as she got dressed then they brushed their teeth together.

ava sat on their bed and jacob sat behind her. they watched some random cooking show as he combed through her hair, adding in her oils and such before separating her hair into two low pigtails on either side of her head and braiding them neatly.

"all done my princess." he said, kissing the back of his head.

octavia smiled weakly, moving to lay down in their bed. she closed her eyes and waited as jacob turned off the television and the lights. he went downstairs, double checked all the windows were locked as well as the doors before heading back to the master-bedroom, laying down beside ava.

he put his hands on her waist, pulling her close to him. jacob stared at her, trying to grasp how she was feeling. it wasn't hard to understand how ava felt, especially since jacob knew her in and out; so it was obvious she wasn't feeling good.

"is everything okay?" another thing he learnt from spending so much time with her is that she hated it when people assumed how she felt, even if that person knew her as well as jacob. she liked it when people asked her how she was doing, rather than deciding and assuming her feelings for her. she wasn't a baby, she could do that herself.

octavia opened her eyes. they were wet with tears that threatened to fall down her face. jacob sighed quietly, pulling her face into her chest. she bit her lip harshly, not wanting to cry. she was stronger than this.

"it's okay to be upset."

"i'm not upset."

"i know. i'm just saying it's okay."

"thank you."