oumota oneshots

Just Keep Smiling

Tw:depression, cutting, mental breakdown

Kokichis pov

I woke up to discover that I was in a simulation the whole time. No one really died. I felt happy for a moment until I saw everyone glaring at me. The killing game wasn't real but everyone's hatred of me still was.

I kept smiling.

I was taking along with everything else to future fondation where they spoke of sending us to the real hopes peak in order to give us another chance at an education.

"he doesn't deserve a proper education" I heard miu muttered. The others nodded in agreement.

I kept smiling.

We were taken to our dorm rooms. Tenko pushed me inside. I fell on my face and the others laughed at me.

I kept smiling.

I walked inside my dorm room. I expected to be happy once I escaped the killing game but instead I felt empty. I hated this emptiness.

I tried anything to make it go away. I did some puzzles.

I still felt empty.

I read some crime novels.

I still felt empty.

I played pranks on my fellow classmates. I continued to smile as they threw hurtful insults at me.

But I still felt empty!

It was like everything I loved and hated no longer interested me or made me feel anything for that matter. I felt like I was surrounded by darkness and the light was too high for me to reach.

I caught sight of the knife in my kitchen and got an idea. If I can't feel anything emotionally then I'll make myself feel something physically.

I sat on my bed and started cutting up my arms. It felt surprising good. Like the first speak of feeling my numb bodies had in a long time.

I watched the blood run down my arms and started laughing. Some great leader! Everyone hates you and now your sitting here mutilating your arms! Suddenly the weight of my situation finally sunk in and I started crying. For the first time since the start of the killing game I cried.

"what the hell? Kokichi!" I looked up to see kaito staring at me in complete and utter shock. He caught me cutting myself. I was lost on what to do so I did the only thing I could.

I smiled.