I don't know how I keep getting myself into these situations. When and why did I decide it was a good idea to have tea with Danny? Either way, here I am now, sitting in his living room, waiting for him to return with the tea.
I look around. It's scarcely furnished. The only thing standing out is a piano that's placed in the middle of the room. A big gray couch and a flat-screen tv are the only other items in here.
Danny returns from the kitchen and offers me a steaming cup of tea before he sits down next to me, calmly sipping his hot beverage.
"What is this about?" I blurt out. I didn't mean to but I can see he's on a mission.
"What do you mean? Can't two friends enjoy tea together?"
"We could've met somewhere public. Didn't have to lure me in here."
"Relax. You were very clear the other day. You want us to be friends. Fine. Friends sometimes have tea together. No big deal."
I feel a massive headache coming on. This was not the way I'd hoped for things to turn out.
"You weren't supposed to agree to my ultimatum." I say under my breath.
"What?"
"I said, you weren't supposed to agree to my ultimatum." I repeat, this time using my loud voice.
"Why? Is it because secretly you wanna be more than friends with me?" He asks mischievously.
"You know the answer to that. Why are you torturing me?"
"I don't mean to. I'm sorry if you feel that way."
I sigh. We're back to square one again. If I have to explain one more time why a relationship with me won't last I swear I'll go crazy.
"Tell me, what is it that you're so scared of? I want to understand you. I want to help you overcome that fear."
"You really don't wanna know about my demons, Danny."
"I do. I need you to open up to me."
Something in his words makes me change my mind. It is, as if he knows that I need to get some things off my chest. He won't accuse me of overreacting. He won't say that it's all in my head and that I'm afraid for no reason. It's like he's already been through the same himself.
So I tell him about the disaster that I called my dating life for the past couple years. And he just sits there and listens. Doesn't interrupt me once. Just listens and nods his head occasionally.
When I'm finished he reaches behind him and grabs a box of tissues. He hands me the box and I realize I've been crying. But I don't feel defeated. I feel good. Relieved. I spoke to Emily a lot about my miserable dating experiences but this time I can say with certainty that I feel relieved. For the first time I feel as if the burden has indeed been lifted off my shoulders.
I smile a little, an action that Danny imitates.
Before he can say anything I start speaking again.
"I know that it doesn't have to end in pain and tears every time but I can't conquer my fear easily. It takes time."
"I know." He agrees.
"So, what now?" I say.
"Now you finish your tea and if you want I'll make you another."
It's not the answer I was expecting but I'm happy he's not pushing the matter. After a second cup of tea I decide to make my way back home. Danny hugs me one last time before unlocking the door to let me out.
